Monday, July 21, 2008

...this is just where i came in.

i have this silly little thing that i do. i like to read blogs that piss me off. not a ton of them. well, i read one in particular that i can't stand. i won't get into specifics except to say that i used to work with this person for a brief period of time, and she is one of those new age types who is a radical vegan, listens to trendy music, thinks she's better than everyone because she bikes and hikes, is a wine snob, reads popular, topical books, uses hip hop slang, and belongs to one of those hippie communal churches that maintain no set beliefs other than "spirituality." I don't know why i read this blog. I don't even dislike this person. i do dislike everything about her. but the blog gets a rise in me. it's like....have you ever caused yourself a modicum of physical pain because i felt good. say, pressing your toe really hard into a hardwood floor. it hurts but you keep doing it. this is what it is like reading this woman's blog. it is like causing yourself personal pain, but doing it over and over again for some masochistic reason that the subcockles of your mind haven't quite worked themselves around. the sad thing is, i can't get one fucking person to read this blog. but i'm a dedicated reader of hers. i can't stop. i take in every sip of expensive wine she lists, every vegan casserole she bakes, and every frishizzle she puts in quotes. and i like it. like slamming my head slowly off a wall.

think my death scare might be over. for those of you who don't know, i spent the better part of june and early july thinking i was having a heart attack. not every day, but about once a week or so i was getting these tight pains in my chest that would get worse because, thinking i was having a heart attack, i would go into total panic mode. the funny thing: every time my chest would hurt and i would clutch it, i would think of Redd Foxx and his Sandford character and every time he clutched his chest to say he was having a heart attack...the big one, as he called it. it's nice to know i can find some humor in my possible demise.

the truth in all of this is two fold. 1) i'm accident prone, and after a night out of beers and such, i managed to fall out of bed, get up, fall again, this time slamming my left shoulder into my dresser, while my right bicept slammed into a chair. 2) i don't eat a lot of fattening food, but i am a sucker for the hot and spicy. so my diet tends to consist of anything covered in hot picante sauce or garlic. what happens, if you have a diet like this, is that your body eventually says "fuck you." and you get a ton of gas you can't control. so you take wounded muscles and a bad digestive sytem, like mine, and you end up with world class heart attack pains...at least according to my doctor who did a bunch of heart tests and came up with nothing. so he took me off spicy foods and stuff like pizza (which i've managed begrudgingly), and booze (which i failed at after 3 days of madness and torture), and i thankfully haven't had a chest pain in over a week, not since last sunday when i got all worked up and almost punched my neighbor who was blasting shitty mary j. blige music up and down bay ridge parkway for all of us to hear.

saw Batman...i mean, The Dark Knight. Loved it. couldn't ask for anything more from the film. my only issue is that it was a bit bloated. that said, i'm concerned for the future of the franchise. not liking many movies, i want to keep the ones going that i do like. But it seems to me that Christopher Nolan shot his wad with this film. I finished watching the Dark Knight, and while I was excited, ignoring a nearly 95 degree NYC day as the wife and i excitedly walked down 2nd Avenue, and began immediately worrying that this would be the last good film in the series. where do they go from here? replace Ledger? no. The riddler? The penguin? catwoman or poison ivy. Mr. Freeze. no. no. no. and no. If they continue making these Bale batman movies, please go to the new comics and use someone like Hush. we need a villian who can stay within the adult-oriented tone of the film. or just stop now.

Lastly, i don't get out much. But i'm going this thursday to Connolly's near the wretched epicenter of hell (times square) to see my favorite band, The Icewagon Flu, play. The Flu are simply a fun and engaging band and over the years have increased about 3-fold musically. It'll be a good time. I also like the Flu because when i first moved to NYC in 2003, everything was shitty. I missed pittsburgh. I felt like i was a fraud because i talked a good game about leaving but then i was like a scared child. i pushed old people on the subway. i was drinking too much.

One night we were invited, Ally and i, to see the Flu play at a place called Paddy O'Briens. Well, before we left i was acting like a prick, made ally mad, and stormed off to the local publican where i had about 4 beers as my old hometown Pittsburgh Pirates played the Mets. when i finally got home and admitted what a douche i was, Ally and i went over to the city to meet our friend Dan and see the Icewagon Flu. Even though the beers in that joint were $6 a draft, i had a great time sitting back and hanging out as the Flu played and dance around, and made geniuses and jokers of themselves. I was, in a sense, having my first good time in NYC since the move. And whenever i see or listen to the Icewagon Flu, i still get that vibe. So i'll be at connolly's having a pint or 5 on thursday night.

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