Tuesday, October 29, 2013

poem of the day 10.29.13


i’m supposed to live in milwaukee
at least according to these online surveys
that i take every few years

find your spot one of them is called
or where do i want to live? is another name

i don’t know why i still take these quizzes
i’m perfectly happy in brooklyn, for the most part

i do it to amuse myself, i guess
or maybe to gaze into this other life that i could be having

the one in milwaukee

i try to be honest with the quizzes
but honesty for me means i mostly answer middle-of-the road

i need to have lots of bright and sunny days
i answer neutral

i love a thick white blanket of snow in the winter
i answer neutral

i need good public transportation
having water nearby is a plus
there should be a strong arts scene where i live

i answer neutral
neutral and neutral

and i always end up with milwaukee

i can’t figure this one out
i’ve done it with a number of quizzes
and being a middle-of-the-road kinda guy
always gives me milwaukee

this is unfair to the fine people of that city

i’m willing to bet the approximately 600,000 denizens of milwaukee
don’t feel very ho-hum or neutral about where they live

milwaukee means gathering place by the water
it’s the 22nd largest city in america
some call it the jewel of the great lakes
the typewriter was even invented in milwaukee

the new york times just did an article
about spending thirty-six hours in milwaukee

on purpose

but sure as shit if i answer neutral to:
i’d like to have good museums nearby
i enjoy local theater
or do you want to live near a major medical center?

i get milwaukee time and time again

i suppose i could answer the quizzes differently
be more assertive in my views

on whether or not i need to be near a major international airport
or if i’m hooked on fishing

how much i enjoy cultivating my green thumb

maybe if i answered in the emphatic
i’d get somewhere like los angeles
or san francisco or even back here in brooklyn

but you know what?
i really don’t give two shits about any of that stuff

i am middle-of-the-road
i’m neutral on most things, if not everything

i mostly sit in my apartment and drink beer and read books
watch movies or sports or i go to the bar

milwaukee had 26 local breweries by 1856
and it has almost a thousand taverns now
gene fucking wilder was from milwaukee
and the brewers ain’t so bad

…of course jeffrey dahmer was born in milwaukee
but he’s dead now

so i figure if we moved there
the wife and i would be all right

we’d be content enough

we’d probably spend our days snacking
on sausage and cheese and beer

watching the packers or the bucks

and if my wife ever asked me how i was doing
i’d probably say okay

i’m doing okay.


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