the politics of not
giving up your seat
to a little kid on
the subway or bus
my advice is to keep your head down
when the walking abomination enters
your line of sight
read a book if you have one
or if the little bastard starts moaning and wailing
about having to stand for his one stop
listen to music on your fancy device
play a video game or pretend you’re meditating
stretch your legs and wince
tell the man sitting next to you that it’s a war injury
you’ll find at least three people willing to call you a hero
and give their seat to you even though you already have one
act like the fake pain in your leg is a genetic defect
it’s not like you have to wear a handicapped sign
when you’re sitting on the subway or bus
(at least not yet anyway)
whatever you do don’t feel bad
it’s a kid for christ’s sake
they cry for sport and can’t color within the lines
they can’t even articulate their emotions or thoughts
properly
remember that one day this kid will probably be your boss
tell yourself that you’re just doing the lady next to you a
favor
by not letting the child sit next to her
she’s busy with the new york times anyway
and it’s not like anyone else offered to get up
know that you’re still a good person
even if the kid ends up falling on the floor
rolling from one end of the train car to the next
while his mother frantically chases after him
as if he were a dollar bill blowing in a breeze
you’ve given up your seat for plenty of people
the sick and the old
women that you were almost sure were pregnant
the occasional hot chick who’s just not hot enough
to have someone else pay her freight
look at the kid’s mother
nod and empathize with her plights
as she struggles to pick her son or daughter
off of the piss-stained floor
be sure to tell them to have a nice day when you depart
because it’s not only polite
but it’s the right thing to do.
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