poem of the day 07.29.08

i must attract them

i get the nuts
the lunatics on trains
who pound on walls and laugh
at nothing.
i get the staggering fools
the slobbering messes
in need of a buck.
if there is one person
who cannot shut up
in the grocery line
or waiting for the doctor
i will be the asshole
standing behind them
or sitting by their side.
i even get the crazed
conspiracy theorists
in the library
disputing darwin
and telling me we never
landed on the moon.
i honestly don’t know how
this has all come about.
me and all these madmen.
my wife says that i’m too nice.
that’s fine.
i just think that i’ve run out
of a certain kind of luck.
the kind that let’s everyone else
get through the day untouched
leaving them to eat
and watch the television blankly
while i suffer fools
and drown in night sweats
and tear at my sheets
like i’m ripping open new flesh,
dreaming the debauched
thinking they can smell
the decay of the mind
on me, as we fester in insanity
and the city’s heat.