poem of the day 03.26.09

don’t ask me why

i keep going back
to the ones who hurt
the ones wearing
no underwear
under a paper thin dress
pressing their rosy asses
into my crotch
while looking
at desks in kmart
the ones hanging
christmas lights
in their girlhood
bedrooms, naked
rock music on the stereo
and a sweet ass
flashing in my face
when it was so cold outside
the ones taking all
of those pills
and drinking all of my beer
who hopped on my lap
and threatened to fuck me
while their boyfriend
my friend
was outside talking
to my neighbors
or the ones who killed me
who made me cry in bathrooms
because i could never
measure up
the ones who used me up
because i was young
and dumb
they were no good
they were no good
all the same all the same
so much the same they blend
so don’t ask me why
i’m thinking about them
right now
because i don’t know
i just don’t know.