how to live to 100
don’t drink
don’t eat the good foods
don’t smoke
don’t fuck unless
you really have to
have a lot of friends
talk a lot in meetings
always offer your opinions
to strangers
stay connected
don’t spend any time alone
call people on the telephone
send emails
have dinner parties
go away on vacations
to private resorts
where the surrounding area
is poorer than all get out
have a nice car
have a nice home
eat fish
don’t keep the blinds closed
on a sunny day
vacuum and mop
scrub the toilet at least once a week
rake leaves and shovel snow
don’t sit alone in a bar
and watch the sun go down
try for that promotion
try for that new job
stay employed
never go mad
play christmas music all season long
and celebrate thanksgiving with verve
take those happy pills
don’t become a writer
have new year’s eve parties
don’t express any opinions to the contrary
go green
there you have it.
all you need to do to live until 100.
but if you really want to live
i mean really want to LIVE
read that list again and do the exact opposite.
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