poem of the day 02.04.11

dr. feelgood

dated a woman
in my mother’s office
she was almost my age
attractive
but attracted to money
and i had been a fat teen
too fat
sad, depressed and fat
i knew that she would
never see me in any other way
than as something blocking the exits
but then i lost the weight
around the time
she got engaged to dr. feelgood
i dropped seventy pounds
and some of the girls
began looking my way
i knew there was
no chance for her and i
but i liked some of the attention
toward me
when she was around
dr. feelgood did not
he grabbed me one time
at a party at my parent’s house
he grabbed me right in front of her
put his hands on my belly
and shook
he said
you might’ve lost weight
but you’re far from
toned
my friend
she shrugged
rolled her eyes
playfully slapped his arm
but she couldn’t even look at me
then they left me
standing there
alone
eighteen
newly assured that
no matter how much
you tried to make
things better for yourself
most of the time
the world
was still a fine
and blazing
hell.