bitch on the bus
she’s got a tattoo on her upper arm
a hip white domed granny
prison dyke silver fox
with a ten-dollar haircut
she’s sitting there yelling at the bus driver
for being a minute late
whenever anyone yells at the bus driver
a message plays on the bus
telling everyone that
it’s a federal offense to assault a driver
but she says, listen buddy
cut the public service announcement shit
i got places to go
like the rest of us are on this thing for the thrill of it
and not coming home from the doctors
the grocery
or our fucking merciless jobs
she tells the driver
you’re full of shit and you know it
and i can’t help but hate her
i’m usually on the other side of this argument
usually one of the ones cursing the bus driver
having that little message played for me
like my own goddamned ringtone
but there’s something about
this bitch on the bus
her scowl and self-righteousness
her bug-eyes glaring at the rest of us
as if we were pieces of shit
that kind of flips me
makes me feel a new repugnance for mankind
and has me rooting for the bad guys on this one
and although it’ll fuck up my evening a bit
scare the wife when she doesn’t see me
come slouching down the street on time
i hope this driver grows a set
pull this bus over to the side of the road
grabs his paper and lets it idle
plays that service announcement like a club loop
while this abomination
checks her cheap watch
and really gets ready
to blow her top.
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