celebrity city
byron has seen more celebrities
than anyone i’ve ever known
he lives the manhattan ideal
a celebrity on every corner to view
whenever i step into his bar
byron always has a story about a different actor
who he’d just been on
the subway with
or some soap star that he was at a party with
one summer byron ran into robin williams four times
on the same block of houston street
he’s been at restaurants with models
and in cafes with rock stars
actors from mike judge films drink in his bar all the time
they’re good tippers, byron says,
pouring us a vodka shot
maybe he’s not that different from anyone else who lives
here
when my wife and i first moved to new york
everyone we met had a celebrity story
jennifer aniston cleaning dog shit
or uma thurman with her kids in central park
bruce springsteen in a midtown bar killing a wednesday
afternoon
even though he doesn’t really drink
i know i’ve gotten some good mileage
out of seeing philip seymour hoffman
yelling at someone on his cell phone in the east village
and seeing that actor from american pie
on his cell phone outside of the bed, bath, and beyond
he kept saying, dude
and calling new york the big apple
all i know is that byron has double the stories
hands down he beats everyone
paul auster in hell’s kitchen
johnny depp smoking a cigarette outside of union square
a soap actor hitting on him
at an east village house party
maybe you aren’t a real new yorker
unless you have a celebrity story that you can pass on
like seeing john ritter in times square a month before he
died
or nicole kidman on a street corner in soho
it’s a rite of passage here
a little something for the tourists and for each other
otherwise we’d get bored in this big city
looking at nothing but all of those tall buildings
or walking broadway aimlessly
where one time i saw tom hanks go strolling into a hotel
only without that sexy wife of his.
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