poem of the day 03.04.13

jacques cousteau never did this

mitch says to artie

and everyone within earshot

hey, have you heard about larry yet?

he killed himself

turns out his old lady was screwing around on him

so larry goes out to the pier

with his pants full of rocks

and just jumps into the river like aquaman

they had three search crews out there looking for him

but they didn’t find shit

not even his body

good old larry is fish food now, mitch says

can you believe it?

artie and everyone within earshot

shake their heads

we say our goddamns

then go back to drinking our stale beer

but it’s harder now

thinking about poor larry the cuckold

doing a virginia woolf in the hudson

and all because of a philandering wife

if he had any balls at all

he would’ve let her go years ago

and started making the scene with other women

turn this life into a game of sex

bang everything from ages eighteen to sixty-five

every color of the rainbow

in the spectrum of female flesh

show that wife of his what she’s missing

by hopscotching on all of those other beds

keep a scorecard of his conquests

to compare and contrast on a slow saturday night

but larry was never that good looking

and what he lacked in looks he also lacked in imagination

some men don’t have the brains

that they are born with

they just float along until something finally pulls them under

and others of us only attain wisdom

while sitting on a barstool

three green beers into our philosophy

greedily combing the ruins

of another man’s life

for something to feel good about.