it’s all my fault
yes
it’s all my fault, sir
that it took you seventy-minutes to fill-out
a basic application for wal-mart
and that you lost all of your info and your pc shut off
it’s all my fault that you’ve been unemployed for five years
yes, i know how long ago 2008 was
and it’s probably my fault too
that your lavender shirt is unwashed
and that other people have complained about the stink
they came up to me and said
can’t you do something about this?
so it must be my fault since they’re asking
it’s my fault too that i have a “cushy” job
my fault that i went and got a graduate degree
after years of dead-end employment
and, as a result, will be in debt until the age of sixty-three
no, i wasn’t joking when i stood up at my desk and said,
here, you can have my fucking job, prick
because dealing with people like you makes me
want to go back on the dole
i wasn’t joking about that, sir
i’d gladly take unemployment again
those days and nights of bologna sandwiches and natural
light beer
over dealing with and talking to people like you
it’s all my fault
are you happy?
my fault that your wife left you
that your kids won’t speak to you anymore
that you lost your apartment and your car
it was just so random how i singled you out
for malice and to humor the darkness
that rests in the pit of me
my fault that it’s fifty-eight degrees and raining outside
and that tomorrow it’ll be ninety and sunny
because obviously i control the weather too
it’s my fault, sir, that you had to drag yourself
to the depths of brooklyn from the bronx
that we weren’t open at ten o’clock to serve you
and that you waited outside in the rain for three hours
because you didn’t have the money for a cup of coffee
it’s my fault
all of it
your failed application
the drones in pakistan
benghazi and the carnage in syria
the missiles sailing over north korea
the bombings in afghanistan
congressional sequestration
and lindsay lohan being in back rehab
what can i say?
i’m sorry i guess
i’m a small and petty man
plus i never realized sitting in this chair
for eight hours a day
how much power that i wielded over common lives
i probably should’ve
after all, you’re not the first person today
who has told me
that it’s all my fault.
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