poem of the day 06.10.13

why not smile?

he used to pull me into that office

almost weekly

it always smelled of coffee and his bad breath

i would sit there thinking

that he should see a dentist

while he ran down this week’s list of my infractions

curt on the phone with customers

curt on the sales floor

five days without shaving

wine and food stains on my pants

and my eyes red from whatever i did when not there

then he’d tell me that i was lucky to have this job

this isn’t a bad job, he’d say

which was easy for him to say

because it had become his career

but for me it was the only job

that i could find in buffalo

i get it, he’d tell me

sometimes a job wears you down

sometimes the public does

but these customers put my kids through college

they put food on your table

which explained why i hadn’t enjoyed a meal

since i took this job

this job is a piece of cake, he’d say

but you, i don’t get you

you’re an enigma

you walk around this store like you hate everything

you don’t smile

you don’t talk to your co-workers

you show no emotion at all

then he would smile wide

and the room smelt worse than before

see? he’s say, pointing at his face

it’s easy

it’s easy to smile, john

why not smile

every once in a while?

then he’d dismiss me like we’d made real progress

he’d unleash me back onto the sales floor

where some lonely old woman

would start yelling at me

about why we were out of stock on sale white zinfandel

or some kid would knock over a whiskey display

and his mother would yell at me about lawsuits

and i’d start thinking about how

there were no other jobs in buffalo

how i was stuck in this place for nine hours a day

how i’d commit suicide rather than smile at this place

and i knew i’d be back in his office the next week

smelling his bad breath

the two of us hopeless

and worn out with each other

but doing that same song and dance.