poem of the day 11.08.13

lazy river

my parents didn’t have a pot to piss in

for the longest time

but the family caught a lucky streak

around the time that i hit twelve or thirteen

and we were able to go on vacations for a few years

like normal, white, middle-class americans

we went this one time to sea world and geauga lake

to see the captive orcas and other trapped sea creatures

put on shows for us and eat chum

and daydream an open sea they’d never have again

while we clapped along with all of the other

normal, white, middle-class american families

across the way at geauga lake

there was this big amusement park with water slides

and water rides and all of these other rides

that kept the white middle-class american families

half-naked in the ohio heat of july

but i was twelve or thirteen or maybe fourteen

well aware of girls and hot young women in bikinis

their tits and the strands of pubic hair

hanging out the sides of their bikini bottoms

well aware of the fact that i was massively overweight

and that i had a pregnant lady stretch marks

on my stomach and arms

that there was no way in hell

i was going around some amusement park

half naked in the ohio heat with my fat, white

stretch marked stomach on display for every

hot girl or young woman in a bikini to see

no matter how much my old man paid to get me in

so i found this thing called the lazy river

which was just a grooved tunnel that went around the park

it filtered through about three to four feet of water

just enough to float on with rafts

or on your back or fat belly like i did (in a t-shirt of course)

the lazy river was full of old ladies and men

or women with their infants and toddlers

it was a good place for me to hide

from the girls and young women in bikinis

from the embarrassment of being twelve or thirteen

with stretch marks and a double chin

but every so often someone would find me

my dad or my mom

my brother or our family friends

they’d try to get me to come out of the lazy river

to go on the water slides or wave pools

but i knew there’d be girls in bikinis on those rides

thin, white, middle-class american girls

with their long legs and tight asses

with their beautiful smiles and diamond eyes

who’d want nothing to do with me and my fat

so i stayed where i was in the lazy river

floating along with grandmothers and great aunts

even though everyone thought  that i was just

being a moody kid in the ohio heat

even though i heard my old man complaining to my mom

all about the money they’d spent getting me into the amusement park

how i was old enough to stay alone back at the hotel

if i was going to be like that

where i could sit on my ass and watch tv

a tv most likely full of girls and young women in bikinis

with smooth porcelain skin and shining blue eyes

females who were real enough for me to touch

and maybe talk to

but not quite.