santa claus is coming
santa claus is coming to town
only not for a few more weeks
but you wouldn’t know it
by the looks of this house that i pass
on my way home from work every night
it has more lights on it than a detroit freeway
there’s this fiberglass latticed santa
with a gift in one hand, waving with the other
while a reindeer of the same ilk
bends slowly, eating fake hay off a dogshit lawn
the place is truly an abomination of the spirit
but i think its worst offense
is the large loud green and red music box on the porch
it plays christmas music in that tinker-box tinny way
that makes the songs all the more tedious and annoying
you can hear the music half-way down the block
in both directions
the whole scene is enough to make you realize
that they put drug addicts and alcoholics in rehabs
tax evaders and government whistle-blowers in jails
but they let sick fucks like these sick fucks
sit in front of their television set
watching christmas film after christmas film
stuffing their faces with hot chocolate, candy canes
and their own good cheer
wishing every other face on the street
a merry christmas
NOT
a happy holiday
while holding a neighborhood captive
day after day and night after night
for twenty-some days a month
until santa finally sails his fat ass back to the north pole
and the regular avarice can begin again
it shakes a man’s faith in decency
to see a display such as this
i don’t even live in the neighborhood
but my heart goes out to the sad, blackened homes
that surround this monstrosity
that can never get a break
from this joyful and triumphant misery
i wish that i could do something for these people
to spread a little cheer
maybe decapitate the santa or topple the reindeer
string a couple of elves up in a noose
of multi-colored, twinkling lights
take a rusty mallet to that music box
and swing away like henry fucking aaron
until this beast of burden
smashes into a thousand green and red pieces
shout ho ho ho on the lawn, like a crazed killer
scaring some sense into that family of yuletide terrorists
until they call the cops to come take me away
finally giving everyone a silent night
peace on earth for sure.
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