poem of the day 05.13.14

corn muffins

not all cops are assholes

i mean i’m sure there are

one or two good ones out there

anything is possible

the one here in the bagel store

standing midway down the line

blocking progress and playing on his gadget

while the rest of us fools line up behind him

and out the door

he’s definitely an asshole

eight in the morning on a sunday

with a hangover and the inability to sleep

all i want is a corn muffin

to go home and scald my tongue on coffee

laugh with the new york times

but it seems like everyone working here

is waiting on this cop

one of them is making his coffee

one of them is frying his eggs and nuking his bacon

one of them is toasting his everything bagel

he’s getting the full treatment

while the rest of us proles are getting leg cramps

and one of them is saying, yes, officer

and one of them is saying, sure, officer

and one of them is saying, whatever you need, officer

is your coffee all right, officer?

can the staff scratch your ass while you wait?

i wonder what the cop would do

if i vomited right on the bagel store floor

the baby faced prick

would probably arrest me

for disturbing the peace

or he’d take a picture of me with his phone

to show the other dickheads back at the precinct

and i can just see those corn muffins

sitting there encases in glass

i’m wondering why one of us just doesn’t

walk around him and demand service

why none of us will revolt

christ, the average citizen is even scared of the police

while trying to get breakfast

then i start thinking

maybe i don’t need a corn muffin

maybe today i’ll just take the hangover and the coffee

and all of the misery the new york times has to offer

but the cop finally gets his order

the entire bagel shop staff gather around

to hand him his coffee and his sandwich

officer friendly doesn’t even look up from his phone

he just takes his bag and leaves

with his cop pants wedged right up his cop ass

new york’s finest for sure

as the rest of us robots move up in the queue

to finally order all of those delicious things

we’ve waited so long for

everything that’ll just turn into shit

by the end of the day.