poem of the day 08.08.14

my phone call with larry

i was feeling idle

arguing with schopenhauer in my head

about what constitutes original thought

when the phone rings at my desk

kid, larry says, it’s me

noon and i could already tell that he was

three sheets to the wind

you like cheap scotch and i like cheap cognac

but let’s not make this about us, he says

okay, i tell him

i wanna talk

i wanna talk about those israeli motherfuckers

and those palestinian pricks

larry says, i want you to know that women aren’t worth it

believe me when i say that a piece of ass is fleeting at best

he says, i’m no racist

but everyone at the food stamp office ain’t white

and that president we have shouldn’t even be president

not because he’s black

but because he was only a two-term senator

we should’ve elected that broad, larry says

what’s her name?

clinton, i answer

yeah, her.  at least her old man was president

he did it two times, larry says

he was good at two-timing, i say

larry doesn’t laugh

he just says, so you think you’re a comedian now

you need to drink more cheap scotch and i need more cognac

then he stops for a drink

if i’ve learned anything in this world, he says

it’s that i’ve learned nothing except that everything is misery

i wonder if larry is reading philosophy too

he says, this ain’t no life, kid

two divorces and medical bills

a daughter who wants a tummy tuck

and breast augmentation surgery at thirty-five

larry says, i mean what the fuck?

i don’t know, i tell him

two rooms and a shared bathroom, he says

food stamps and government handouts at my age

larry says, this is why i get lost in movies

in the old ones and in the new ones

i’d rather live in a film than drive these ugly streets

he says, if it weren’t for my grandkids

i’d buy a gun and do myself in

i’d take some motherfuckers with me, you know?

things are tough all over, larry, i tell him

you just drink your scotch, he says

and i’ll drink my cheap cognac

he stops for another drink

he says, you still there?

yeah, larry, i say

i’m at my job

larry knows that he has me until six

good, he says

you see, i went to the doctor the other day

and he says

well….

he seems to think

that it’s something about my liver, kid