poem of the day 02.11.15

our first fight

okay

so this is it

this is the night

where we finally take the shit out

on each other

our first fight

our first cancer fight

you with your web sites and statistics

your lists of the damned and dead

your recovery books and odds

me with my denial

my inability to look a damned thing up

thinking that tomorrow morning

like every morning

i’ll wake up and this’ll have been

just another bad dream

we were bound to duke it out at some point

sweetheart

it might as well be tonight

a simple monday in a six day work week

that we’re both dreading

your old man in the hospital

your mother sick on chemo

MRIs and biopsies falling like rain

8p.m. and still ninety degrees outside

too hot for us to eat anything

but cold cuts and barbecue chips

too depressing to do a thing but have this fight

so let’s start this, shall we?

let’s get this over and maybe get past this

have a beer or some more wine

a shit ton of scotch if it’s okay

you tell me once again

how insensitive and mean i’m being

and i’ll tell you how fucking crazy you are

for reading those books

instead of talking to your doctor

i’ll say shit like

if i were you….

if it were me….

even though i don’t know

up from down these days

we can throw things

and shout at the top of our lungs

rattle the walls of this old apartment

that was once so inviting

but seems so sinister now

with its orange walls and cracked blinds

its years of love and loss

its two most famous occupants

facing each other ready for a duel

neither of us with the guts to tell each other

how goddamned scared

we really are

                                                            07.09.14/09.17.14