poem of the day 02.23.15

television blues

the two women on the train

are talking about reality television shows

they are acting as if they know the people

the real housewives of…

keeping up with the kardashians

the women are shouting over the din

of train cars and century’s old tracks

but you don’t know her like i do, one of them says

she just needs a good man, the other shouts back

both women have their dinners

waiting for them in fast food bags

i’m listening to them because i can’t read

i think about television

how back when i was a kid i probably

watched more television than was good for me

my old man used to walk through rooms shaking his head

my mother would say, is this what you’re doing with saturday?

as if it had to be savored or labored through

weekends were never precious jewels to me

they were another brady bunch episode

a monkees marathon on dubbed vhs tapes

cosby and family ties and growing pains reruns

i used to imagine that i was on those shows

not like an actor or anything

but like the shows were real

i was the brady’s or the seaver’s neighbor

the other member of the monkees

or the guy taking mallory keaton or denise huxtable out for a date

i loved the episodic nature of the shows

how the characters problems never seemed to last

they were better than listening to my parents

argue about bills and housework

telling me to go outside and play

worrying about some kid on monday

calling me a fat ass at recess again

or the girl that i liked laughing at me in homeroom

i didn’t have to work at anything with the tv characters

just insert myself into the background of any scene

take it from there

and while the women on the train

argue about their respective shows

dip into their fast food bags for an appetizer

as one of the women throws

a french fry at her friend

and they laugh and laugh over some outrageous plot line

i find ryan adams waiting

on my music machine

turn and watch brooklyn fly by

thumping soundtrack and in full technicolor

and think about how i don’t really watch television anymore

that i’ve sort of just learned to live with this life

my one and only long running mini-series

with its tragic and final finale

a show i’ll never be certain that i truly enjoyed

or fully got the plot.