poem of the day 09.25.15

vicious mystery

all women

all men

all people

all of it a vicious mystery

and so i chase marilyn

waited fifty minutes in sick sweat

sweat-matted hair

ears red

follow her down cathedral steps

through vast collegiate corridors

and i track her down

like prey

this vicious mystery woman

call her by her god-given name

marilyn

marilyn

she turns in wind-blown sad pittsburgh gray

smiling like she’s known me forever

talk such rapid talk

in one minute

i find out her major (sociology)

career goals (social worker)

home state (new jersey)

forty minutes out of new york

artist mother

artist father

what does she even ask me?

still she says

you should move to new york

move to the village

become a stereotype

(or do i think this?)

and through all of these months of pitied hell

i felt and hell i probably looked like

i ask her out

promise big holy pittsburgh saturday nights

in big holy pittsburgh bars

glorious drunks

marilyn says she’s a prude

won’t get drunk

ah, hell, i say

i’ll get drunk for all of us

she doesn’t laugh

i tell her this spring will die

this summer will come

you should come out with me

i say

yes, she says

or maybe, she says

but first new jersey, she says

we walk away so bashful with plans

her phone number

clutched in sweaty hand

immediately i sink into me

thinking one date

leads to two dates

leads to a relationship

comfort

complacency

then alienation

break-up desolation

i slap my face and say

what are you doing?

i turn

marilyn not even a speck on big pitt campus

walking huddled

across bigelow boulevard

coal hair blowing up

she looks back

she waves

and i know

i’ve already ruined this