poem of the day 11.25.15

all i like to do is drink

which might be true

otherwise you wouldn’t have said it

i mean i don’t like many people

and i most likely don’t like children or dogs

i don’t like saying good morning or have a nice day

i don’t like going to work

or paying bills or paying rent

or spending over ten dollars for anything

i don’t like how low the minimum wage is

but i’m too lazy to try and change it

i don’t like restaurants with happy waitresses

hungering for a tip

and i no longer like going to bars

i don’t like the infirm

and i get nervous around the mentally handicapped

i don’t like car horns and traffic

i don’t like people walking up my ass on the street

construction work blocking my path

i don’t like parades and picnics

going to parks to stroll around on so-called beautiful days

i don’t like christmas or thanksgiving

and i fucking loath the fourth of july

i don’t like texting, the internet and cable tv

smartphones and video games and men that say bro

i want to strangle people who talk about art in art museums

i don’t like religion or the tenants of eastern thought

so you can have your jesus and allah and buddha and mickey mouse too

i don’t like capitalism, america or american flags

i don’t like exceptionalism and vanity and red states vs. blue

i really don’t like war all of the time

because while it makes some rich it just makes most others dead

that means i don’t like politicians talking like politicians

and i don’t like fascist charlatans telling me

that they’ll make america great again

so this means that i don’t like being lied to

you know that i don’t like racism or xenophobia

but i’ve had my dark moments of thought

i don’t like the sun and summer

and pop music blasting out of some asshole’s car

but i hate a fucker who’s pretentious about music

i don’t like warm weather when it’s supposed to be cool

or people who deny climate change

i don’t like watching football, soccer or hockey

or, for that matter, any millionaires playing games like kids

i don’t like onions on my pizza or anything else

light beer or coffee that’s too weak

i don’t like umbrellas or scarves

i don’t like genocide or murder

but i have a mental list of people i’d take out

i don’t like being a hypocrite

i don’t like alarm clocks or blockbuster films

the upstairs neighbor who’s always dropping shit

i don’t like a lot of poetry

but i’m a sucker for a great line

i don’t like him

and i don’t like her

i don’t like the mailman

and the kid who works the deli

the one who sighs when i want a pound of meat

all i like to do is drink, you say

well, i love you more than you know

more than you could possibly imagine

still i don’t like lulls in the conversation

and i hate to interrupt

but i don’t like it when my vodka glass is empty

so if you’ll excuse me for a moment…

i’ll be right back

because i don’t like it

when people don’t keep their promises

and i never like it

when i’m going to be late.