time to change liquor
stores again
these are temporary loves
you should know this by now, i think
but dusting off the embers of these trysts
gets harder and harder with each separation
on any block i pass the dusty visages
of old dalliances gone bad in a sudden twist of fate
an indiscretion here that become too intimate
anger and judgement pushed too far
a price that became too expensive
for my loyalty and trust
or really just hanging around
much longer than i realized
my welcome was wanted
today he wants to discuss rebates
all next week eight dollars off smirnoff
an inane pillow talk that i’ve suffered before
for the sake of the relationship
the drill is to smile and act interested
the way that old couples do
when they tell each other the same story yet again
interject an oh yes,
and hmmmm, there and there
while keeping hold of that familiar plastic bottle
as if he were waiting to grip ol’ faithful from my hands
i think of how it used to be when this all started
silent judgment that was easy to tolerate
the cold cash exchange at the register
not unlike a backseat transaction with a whore
how i long for those days
the ones before the hellos and goodbyes
the good afternoons and how was your day, honey
those extra hits from pourer girls
on wine and whiskey tasting fridays
that we never made mention of by monday
but we’ll never get back to that now
we’ve come too far with this
all my relationships have died
the minute they expect me to change
yet like a fool he’ll expect me here all next week
obedient and dedicated like the most beaten of dogs
the way the others have done in the past
but i’m nobody’s slave
i’ve left bigger and better in the dust
over as little as a crossed eye and a torn plastic bag
and there’s this new kid on the block
only five minutes out of my way
a giant grand opening sign in the window
and a face behind the register
blank and unfamiliar, an empty vessel
who knows nothing about me
with whom i can be free
or anyone i want to be…for now.
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