poem of the day 08.04.16

percy shelley never did this

i’m sure at first

the doctor thought that it might be a v.d.

the way he asked me what it was

that i’d been up to down there at the beach

i was eighteen and in massive testicular pain

but i still felt suave and virile at the suggestion

i wasn’t a complete eyesore i hope you know

but alas i’d come home a wounded soldier and a virgin

the only action i’d gotten down there

was madeline kahn’s cleavage in young frankenstein

as i rolled around on a dirty couch in agony

wondering what in the hell was wrong with my nuts

while my friends slept soundly in their beds

dreaming the kind of ass they’d try and get the next day

or maybe a vein is twisted, doctor feelgood said

it happens to some guys your age

a little procedure and you’ll be good as new

i didn’t like the word procedure

it was an old person’s word

and i felt ungainly and impotent at the very idea

but he put me under anyway

and they had the devil’s time trying to wake me back up

i could feel their slaps, the tugging on the eyelids

john…john…john….until i drifted out again

when i finally came to

it was only me and the parents in the recovery room

took your one testicle, the old man said

like it was matter of fact

and i felt sickened and emasculated at the notion

but you can still have kids, my mom added hopefully

you know, with the other one

like that was some kind of comfort

like half a set of balls were being chopped off all the time

i wanted to spring from the bed and get the hell out of there

just in case they started removing other body parts

the butchers

but i was still too doped up and sore to flee

as my parents talked to me

about treatment and the nice weather we were having

i laid there trying to think about sunsets and sand

the soft curves of tanned flesh

instead of doctor frankenstein somewhere in the hospital

tossing away a suddenly useless body part

from this new monster that he’d created.