day FOURTEEN

golden showers

the new president

likes to be pissed on

or he likes to watch prostitutes

piss on each other

i don’t know

it’s so hard to gauge the truth these days

and like a good little patriot

i’m not even going to bother

to sift through the muck

but unusual sexual proclivities

have always been as american as apple pie

though they didn’t put it in his bio

it always seemed to me

that george washington liked a good cucumber

shoved up his slave holding ass

of course…what exactly is unusual these days?

maybe the weather being

twenty degrees one day, sixty the next

only no one seems to be talking about that

most people are happy not to shiver

one man’s comfort is another man’s lingering drought

and i’ve been battling a cold all winter

which is unusual for yours truly

and i’ve never wanted anyone to piss on me

although i have my menu of special sexual appetites

that would make my grandma blush were she still alive

i have a bigger problem with the president

thinking that climate change is a hoax

sitting here in the dead of winter in my shorts

with all of the windows open and sweat on my brow

i couldn’t care less if the man wanted painted clowns

to take steaming shits in his big mouth

i just don’t want to be sixty some day

and drown in a climate-change induced fucking flood

america is really the only place

where a know-nothing charlatan can hold

the highest office in the land

and the scientists have to run underground

like common thieves

waking up in america

is a lot like waking up into a car wreck most mornings

it’s a self-inflicted slaughter

that you can’t quit or avert your eyes from

waking up in america 

is like being pissed on constantly

only not in any sexual way

it’s just this sopping, stinking feeling

that burns your eyes and tears out your soul

one long golden shower that you’re perpetually stuck in

like some clueless asshole at a bus stop

without a raincoat

or a good enough umbrella

to keep that poisoned water off of you