day ONE HUNDRED and EIGHTY

I DON'T WANT TO BE AMERICAN ANYMORE

I always wanted to be American
Even when America was frowned upon in my country
Even when everyone thought that Americans were

arrogant people who only wanted to invade unpronounceable countries
and kill its inhabitants by the simple fact of colonizing and
to impose its model of wild capitalist government.
NATO no, Bases out!
Reagan, die!
I always wanted to be American
and become one of those characters who
came from out of the movies that I liked.
In Asturias there were no pirate ships hidden in caves,
neither in Madrid did we celebrated the prom
where the prettiest girl in high school went out with you
and everything was perfect, even if you were

the most unpopular guy from the neighborhood.
I always wanted to be Ralph Macchio and kiss Elizabeth Sue.
I always wanted to play in California with a hair-metal band.
I always wanted to have black friends and break-dance.
I always wanted to meet people from other religions and not the same
catholic or atheist neighbors who shit on God every day.
I always wanted to rescue the treasure in the Goonies,

and even drive a taxi with a punk haircut.
Fuck, I always wanted to live in a duplex in the suburbs

and meet an extraterrestrial with a shitty appearence!
Now all of that passed away.
I guess I've grown up and I've noticed certain things.
Imagination is a treasure and reality stinks.
I don’t want to be American anymore.
I don’t want to be many things either.
I just want to be.
But I checked with surprise and boredom
that no one in my country wants to be American anymore
because suddenly we have realized
that we are equal to them,
that we say the same things and
we think and act in the same way
without all the glamor of all those teen films
without all the magic of the songs of those years
and with all the pettiness and violence of the new century;
with all the hatred for the different and for the poorest;
with all the fear that somebody could touch
our "wonderful occidental lifestyle",
where most of us feel excluded
Rejected
Sunken
On the edge of an utter depression.
A feeling that characterizes us all equally.
No, I don’t want to be American anymore because
Americans don’t even know where Spain is
And many of us know where the hell Delaware is

--Oscar Varona