day EIGHT HUNDRED and SEVENTY NINE

Michael Cohen testifies before Congress, 2.27.19

(to the tune of “Mein Herr” from Cabaret)

You’re a racist and a con man and a cheat, Don Trump.

To avoid you I would run across the street, Don Trump.

You claim, “We don’t need more Haitians,”

And you sneer at “shithole" nations,

David Duke rejoices every time you tweet, Don Trump.

You’re a braggart and a blowhard and a fake, Don Trump.

And you lie about the money that you make, Don Trump.

Tell the IRS it’s lower,

Tell the folks at Forbes it’s more,

How much bullshit do you think that we can take, Don Trump?

It’s not only tax returns that make you freeze, Don Trump.

You’re afraid to show your grades and SATs, Don Trump.

Though you say Maxine’s “low IQ,”

When you see she doesn’t like you,

You can barely read beyond your ABCs, Don Trump.

I regret the day that I said yes to you, Don Trump.

I’m ashamed of every shady thing you do, Don Trump.

In this hearing I reject you,

I will never more protect you,

And Republicans are shmucks to do it too, Don Trump.

--Cheryl Caesar