day NINE HUNDRED and NINETY NINE

Worst Superhero Ever: a found poem

Florida Man fatally shoots son-in-law

who was trying to surprise him for his birthday

Florida Man parks smart car in kitchen

so it won’t blow away

Florida Man takes golf cart on wild ride

through Walmart

Florida Man arrested for threatening

to shoot up Walmart after El Paso Massacre

Florida Man caught exposing himself

in Walmart pillow aisle

Florida Man arrested, caught on video

using samurai sword to fight over wheelbarrow

Florida Man who didn’t flush toilet

threatened griping friend with a machete

Florida Man threatens to kill man with kindness,

uses machete named “Kindness”

Florida Man doesn't get straw,

attacks McDonald's employee

Florida Man intentionally drove Ferrari 360 into ocean

at top speed, says “Jesus told him to”

Florida Man killed ex-girlfriend

while trying to “get rid of the devil”

Florida Man shooting at target in backyard

hits neighbor sitting at dining room table

Florida Man arrested at Mar-a-lago, says he came to talk

to Trump about “his $6.3 trillion”

Florida Man denies syringes found in rectum

are his

Florida Man arrested after argument

over cheesesteak

Florida Man accused of burning son

to teach him a lesson about fire

Florida Man allegedly fooled family into believing

murdered wife was still alive

Florida Man beat, pepper-sprayed Mom

because “She was a narcissist”

Florida Man finds a WWII grenade, places it in his truck,

drives to Taco Bell

Florida Man learns hard way

he stole laxatives, not opioids

Florida Man spent weeks in jail for heroin

that was actually detergent

Florida Man accused of robbing Chinese restaurant

at finger point

Florida Man thought he’d do donuts

on the airport runway

Florida Man dances

through DUI sobriety test

Florida Man caught on camera

licking doorbell

--Shawn Pavey

Shawn Pavey

Author, Survival Tips for the Pending Apocalypse (Spartan Press 2019), Nobody Steals the Towels From a Motel 6 (Spartan Press, 2015), and Talking to Shadows (Main Street Rag Publishing Company, 2008)

Former Vice President, The Writers Place Board of Directors

Co-founder, former Associate Editor, and Midwest Ambassador, The Main Street Rag Literary Journal

Poet In Residence, 2010, PresentMagazine.com
Blog: http://www.shawnpavey.com