poem of the day 10.29.13

milwaukee

i’m supposed to live in milwaukee

at least according to these online surveys

that i take every few years

find your spot one of them is called

or where do i want to live? is another name

i don’t know why i still take these quizzes

i’m perfectly happy in brooklyn, for the most part

i do it to amuse myself, i guess

or maybe to gaze into this other life that i could be having

the one in milwaukee

i try to be honest with the quizzes

but honesty for me means i mostly answer middle-of-the road

i need to have lots of bright and sunny days

i answer neutral

i love a thick white blanket of snow in the winter

i answer neutral

i need good public transportation

having water nearby is a plus

there should be a strong arts scene where i live

i answer neutral

neutral and neutral

and i always end up with milwaukee

i can’t figure this one out

i’ve done it with a number of quizzes

and being a middle-of-the-road kinda guy

always gives me milwaukee

this is unfair to the fine people of that city

i’m willing to bet the approximately 600,000 denizens of milwaukee

don’t feel very ho-hum or neutral about where they live

milwaukee means gathering place by the water

it’s the 22^nd largest city in america

some call it the jewel of the great lakes

the typewriter was even invented in milwaukee

the new york times just did an article

about spending thirty-six hours in milwaukee

on purpose

but sure as shit if i answer neutral to:

i’d like to have good museums nearby

i enjoy local theater

or do you want to live near a major medical center?

i get milwaukee time and time again

i suppose i could answer the quizzes differently

be more assertive in my views

on whether or not i need to be near a major international airport

or if i’m hooked on fishing

how much i enjoy cultivating my green thumb

maybe if i answered in the emphatic

i’d get somewhere like los angeles

or san francisco or even back here in brooklyn

but you know what?

i really don’t give two shits about any of that stuff

i am middle-of-the-road

i’m neutral on most things, if not everything

i mostly sit in my apartment and drink beer and read books

watch movies or sports or i go to the bar

milwaukee had 26 local breweries by 1856

and it has almost a thousand taverns now

gene fucking wilder was from milwaukee

and the brewers ain’t so bad

…of course jeffrey dahmer was born in milwaukee

but he’s dead now

so i figure if we moved there

the wife and i would be all right

we’d be content enough

we’d probably spend our days snacking

on sausage and cheese and beer

watching the packers or the bucks

and if my wife ever asked me how i was doing

i’d probably say okay

i’m doing okay.