Thursday, June 29, 2017

day ONE HUNDRED and SIXTY ONE



Ostriches and Camels

White Bliss scratched
Mr Munson scratched
Spicebomb change overcheck
The American Kings go on at ten
complete with lights and Morricone’s theme
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Elvis hips swing, the velocity of slicked back hair
ancient couples in matching t-shirts, matching socks, shiny shoes
swing, get low on carpets
that are an ocean on the right drugs

Jimmy Reed covers as the Pens start
period three, on one tv a latino jockey
rides with an American flag
they superimpose him and the flag
layers of patriotism, all the glory

Rickenbacker and Gretch
pretty in the backlight
nurses and business men
leopard prints and sequins
do the shimmy, the swim
the bunny hop, white hair bobs
along to Louie Louie

The Pens are going down
The tv advertises stud fees
ostriches and camels june sixteenth
Corona bottles turn red, lost in lights
as patrons cheer the first set
shiny shoes  still shiny

a man from buffalo says
Why are we even looking at ice
it’s goddamn fucking June?

--Jason Baldinger 

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

day ONE HUNDRED and SIXTY



They’re Killing Our Girls

They’re killing our girls
in homes
at schools
with knives and guns
and beatings.

They’re killing our girls
at rock concerts
with bombs full of bolts and screws.

They’re killing our girls
stealing them on their way to school
locking them in marriage
and pregnancy
and then slitting their throats.

They’re killing our girls
telling them what to wear
what to eat
how to look
what to say
where they can and cannot go.

They’re killing our girls
for saying no
for saying yes
for speaking at all.

While we shake our heads
and wring our hands
and wonder about the lone wolf
who shoots up the school
who blows up the church
trying to figure out why

these men murder
paint them as unique or deranged
remember they have always
been targeting
and hunting
and killing our girls.

--Ally Malinenko 

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

day ONE HUNDRED and FIFTY NINE

mitch mcconnell feels your pain

or he’d like you to feel more
it’s hard to tell with mitch sometimes

maybe he knows what it’s like
to get pulled out of a wheelchair
and dragged down the hall

feeling gutted like medicaid
defunded like planned parenthood

do you think he bro-slapped paul ryan
after puking up that piece of health legislation?

or did he drop the mic on that eddie munster looking frat boy
and say, how ‘bout them apples, bitch?

or do white dudes on capitol hill just nod and wink
after they’ve sentenced millions of people to death?

seal the deal with a glass of scotch
and a hearty laugh

what i mean to say is…does mitch mcconnell
really feel your pain, america?

or is he just looking for that lost cheez-it
hidden somewhere under that neck of his

making poker plans with his corporate masters
readying that independence day bbq

thinking about his dry cleaning
reveling in his sweet parking spot

all the while waiting patiently
for the rest of us to stumble off

and die

--John Grochalski

                                   


Monday, June 26, 2017

day ONE HUNDRED and FIFTY EIGHT

The Orange Menace on Vacation at the Parthenon

One of my guys told me people used to get together here, a cult drawn to huge spectacle. Such a temple. Can you imagine? And the statue of that broad, Athena—a god, really. Or goddess. Whatever. And it had gold inside. If a real broad could be like that, right? Such a historical place. Really, really historical. Or historic; it doesn't matter. We were going to do a casino just like this. It’s true! But then I thought it would look really, really bad. This place is like, it’s in disarray. Disgusting in a lot of ways. So much of it got smashed by a bunch of Italians—greedy, greedy Italians before there was an Italy, OK. But you have to respect that—going in and just destroying someplace because you want to, saying goodbye to sculptures that would be worth a fortune. Why the hell not? They just came in and blew it up. Kablooey, right? No insurance. But it’s still really, really historical. So it means a lot to be here. I mean, I’ve been to nicer places that are in one piece, but this is neat!

--Daniel M. Shapiro
(poem previously appeared in Menacing Hedge)



Daniel M. Shapiro is the author of Heavy Metal Fairy Tales (Throwback Books, 2016), How the Potato Chip Was Invented (sunnyoutside press, 2013), and The 44th-Worst Album Ever (NAP Books, 2012). He is a senior poetry editor with Pittsburgh Poetry Review.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

day ONE HUNDRED and FIFTY SEVEN

poem to the lady who made
two pregnant women stand on the evening bus

we are all tired
packed like sardines on this bus
and if in a society that actually valued
the hard work of its citizenry
maybe none of this would be
but all of the other people sitting around us
are eighty years old…if they’re lucky
but you, you look younger than me
sitting there yelling into your cell phone
with your chalkboard scratched, nicotine voice
all about how hot tim at the office thinks you are
girl, maybe you really do
have to beat them away with a stick
but there are two, count them, TWO pregnant woman
standing right in front of your dumb ass
holding the top of a bus pole
they’re practically on the tip of their toes to reach
one of them looks sweaty and sick
the other actually has her belly in your face
and what did you do?
you looked up at the women and scowled
like they’d taken turns spitting in that bag of cheetos you’re inhaling
glowering your injustice at such peasants
what would romeo at work think?
would he still find you so hot?
you gum chomping bag of gas with no morality
or maybe he’s just like you
and that’s part of the attraction
two self-involved assholes spinning cordial society into the dirt
kicking old people and tripping the blind for sport
what incredible kids the two of you will make
i’d say this is beyond audacity
but in some sick way i’m actually impressed
cruelty can be an art form
and this evening you perfected it, babe
so keep talking
keep slapping your knee
just like the ugly little port authority queen you are
sit there howling at the moon
as two septuagenarians give up their seats
for the women
keep on making america great for scum like you
you fucking bitch.            

--John Grochalski                                                      

Saturday, June 24, 2017

day ONE HUNDRED and FIFTY SIX

Let Me Know When It’s Time to Exhale

The day spilled its blood
above Amerika, the rich
play God and flip coins to
see who will die today

The devil stokes his furnace,
children eat cornflakes, dogs
water fire hydrants, women
apply war paint, while men

Defecate with the sports section,
babies cry for their bottles, drunks
do too, the president sniffs dope,
raises taxes on the poor while

Laughing with his finger on his
twitter propaganda machine
and his sick paranoia clouding
his warped mind under a bad rug.

--Catfish McDaris

Catfish McDaris’ most infamous chapbook is Prying with Jack Micheline and Charles Bukowski. His best readings were in Paris at the Shakespeare and Co. Bookstore and with Jimmy"the ghost of Hendrix"Spencer in NYC on 42nd St. He’s done over 25 chaps in the last 25 years. He’s been in the New York Quarterly, Slipstream, Pearl, Main St. Rag, CafĂ© Review, Chiron Review, Zen Tattoo, Wormwood Review, Great Weather For Media, Silver Birch Press, and Graffiti and been nominated for 15 Pushcarts, Best of Net in 2010, 2013, 2014, and 2016 he won the Uprising Award in 1999, and won the Flash Fiction Contest judged by the U.S. Poet Laureate in 2009. He was in the Louisiana Review, George Mason Univ. Press, and New Coin from Rhodes Univ. in South Africa. He’s recently been translated into Spanish, French, Polish, Swedish, Arabic, Bengali, Mandarin, Yoruba, Tagalog, and Esperanto. His 25 years of published material is in the Special Archives Collection at Marquette Univ. in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He’s listed in Wikipedia. Catfish McDaris won the Thelonius Monk Award in 2015. His ancestors are from the Aniwaya Clan of the Cherokee Nation and related to Wilma Mankiller. He’s working in a wig shop in a high crime area of Milwaukee. Bukowski’s Indian pal Dave Reeve, editor of Zen Tattoo gave Catfish McDaris his name when he spoke of wanting to quit the post office and start a catfish farm. He spent a summer shark fishing in the Sea of Cortez, built adobe houses, tamed wild horses around the Grand Canyon, worked in a zinc smelter in the panhandle of Texas, and painted flag poles in the wind. He ended at the post office in Milwaukee.

WineDrunk SideWalk: Shipwrecked in TrumpLand week TWENTY TWO wrap up

First I’d like the thank the ceaselessly talented Ally Malinenko for taking the reins on week TWENTY ONE….not only was it great to have a female perspective on what’s happening in and around TrumpLand, whenever someone takes over for me I find that I pay attention to the news less, my head hurts less, my blood pressure is down, and I can almost smile.

Anyway….let’s head back down to the river and see what sewage we can find this week.

Terrorism seems to be the topic of the day….early Monday a van rammed into a mosque in north London killing one and wounding (at this count) at least 10….in circumstances familiar to American’s the attacker was not an Islamic extremist but instead was a white dude of the ilk of domestic terrorists that we breed right here in the good ol’ U.S. of A.

…not to be outdone AmeriKKKa continued its quest for most violent, racist nation on the planet: on Sunday a 17 year old Muslim girl, Nabra Hassanen was found dead in a pond…yeah, a fucking pond…22 year old Darwin Torres has been arrested…and not a week since that bullshit acquittal of Jeronimo Yanez in the murder of Philando Castile, for committing the crime of being black and driving in his fucking car, we have the genius pigs in Seattle shooting a pregnant black woman, 30 year old Charleena Lyles for brandishing a knife after calling in a burglary attack. While Ms. Lyles has had mental health issues over the years, and who knows if she didn’t have the knife in self-defense, why the cops didn’t try something else like, I don’t know, maybe a fucking taser instead of their guns is beyond me…actually this isn’t…this is America…they were cops…she was black. That’s always how it goes down in this glorified third world nation…is it?



Now the powers that be want to say that Nabra’s death wasn’t racially or religiously motivated…and fine, well, maybe it wasn’t. Maybe what he have here instead is a man beating a young girl to death with a baseball bat…with a FUCKING BASEBALL BAT…another symbol  of violence against women in a patriarchal society that needs to be burned to the fucking ground and rebuilt from the ground up…without corporate involvement.

and as of Wednesday you can add no justice for Sylville Smith.
 

But TrumpLand wouldn’t be TrumpLand without the big, orange monster…I guess this week’s question in the shittiest reality TV show known to man: is DOUCHE MOTHERFUCKER under investigation? According to the loudmouth DOUCHE bag, Robert Mueller, my next door neighbor and pretty much all of America…he is.  But according to DOUCHE’s lawyer…he isn’t. Well…we got our first cliffhanger right there.

And, of course, while that sideshow continues to consume the nation, a small band of sniveling, corporate lapdog Republicans are hiding behind closed doors drafting what will only be another draconian version of a health bill. One can only imagine what kind of health bill these domestic terrorizing goons will try and push through the Senate…tell you what….anyone catch one of the Koch brothers out buying lube and a ton of tissue….take a picture because that’ll mean this one is a doozy.

From what I’ve read this is a health bill that most of the republicans have not seen, that they will only have about 20 hours to read and amend before a vote…sounds like democracy in action…because when you want your elected representatives to create an overhaul of health care you want them to write that legislation in private, make sure no one really comprehends what’s in it, and then bring it to a vote….and I’ll bet you the bulk of those asshole’s vote for it.

But we do know a few things: aside from the usual, standard GOP practice of fucking over poor people by slowing the growth of Medicaid, there seems to be a struggle within America’s top domestic terrorist organization over what to do about the opioid epidemic. That makes sense…on the one hand if you come from a state where the opioid epidemic is bad, an influx of money would be a sweet deal…but if you’re a regular conservative…hmmmm…maybe cutting funding and working to kill off some of those pesky DOUCHE MOTHERFUCKER supporters might be a boon come the 2018 elections and even further if someone challenges DOUCHE in 2020. decisions, decisions.

Democrats, on the other hand, have a plan to try and slow the Senate down enough to maybe stop the vote…now, short of Chuck Schumer grabbing Mitch McConnell by the leg and screaming, oh, please daddy, oh please don’t beat me again…I’m not quite sure what the democrats have up their sleeves.

Speaking of Democrats…in an election that seemed to surprise a lot of people who clearly have no clue how Georgia politics is run, Karen Handel, GOP stalwart, fended off spunky new comer, and heavily financed, John Ossoff, for the house seat left vacant by, current Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tom Price (last seen snickering at a bunch of poor, sick children), by a margin of 51.9% to 48.1%. Not bad in a region that has held for the GOP for the last forty years. Imagine what the 2016 presidential election would’ve been like had Democrats and Progressives given a fuck about the direction their country was headed in? Huh? Of course we’re talking about Democrats here…we’re talking about a party who as soon as they lost in 2016 decided to jump right off the identity politics bandwagon and go sniffin’ ‘round Jethro’s moonshine again in order to find out what, other than racism and boastful illiteracy, really makes the white working class tick. We’’re talking about a party that can’t separate the ramblings of a geriatric ideologue from a coherent message that’ll speak to all working class Americans of all gender and race…good luck in 2018 dems…you’re gonna need it.

in all fairness i'm probably the wrong guy to try and sooth the wounded Democrat, especially in an election so far below the Mason/Dixon line...but maybe THIS will help



Because I won’t so much as step inside a cab in New York City without feeling like a bourgeois asshole, the only thing that I know about Uber is that it’s pretty fun saying the name using Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice.  Go ahead and try it…I’ll wait.  Fun, huh?  But on Tuesday, Travis Birkenstock, last scene 20+ years ago complaining about a lack of lift to school from his patrons all the while extolling the virtues of McDonald’s breakfast sandwiches, stepped down on Tuesday as chief executive of the car service company that he founded with his parent’s vast sandal fortune. In what film buffs are calling a shareholder revolt, Birkenstock leaves behind a company that’s workplace culture has been accused of homophobic slurs, sexual harassment allegations, threats of violence, discrimination, and outright nefarious behavior befitting aging frat boys with no moral compass. How young Birkenstock went from this:


To this Douche bag:


is beyond me.


But never fear, folks…this is America…the country where even multiple sexual harassment allegations can lead good ol’ white boyz to this:
On Thursday, when the GOP weren’t ripping senior citizens out of their wheelchairs, America’s favorite domestic terrorist organization released their proposed “health” care bill….and boy is it a doozy to say the least….so I’ll say the most…this has to be one of the cruelest, ugliest, anti-citizen, anti-human, corporate cock-sucking, go FUCK yourself America health bills that I’ve ever seen….yet I’m not surprised. Amongst the highlights: deep cuts to Medicaid, and end to the mandate that ALL American have health insurance, allowing states to drop a good deal of the benefits required by the ACA things like….maternity care, emergency services, and mental health treatment….unless you want to buy a gun. The bill would also cut funding for Planned Parenthood for one year…BUT it would give 2 billion in federal grants to help fight the opioid epidemic so that those people are good and healthy and ready to vote Trump come 2020. Honestly reading about the thing made me ill…so you can get the rest of the facts right HERE.

a silver lining? Four senators:  Rand Paul, Mike Lee, Ron Johnson, and Ted Cruz vowed not to vote for the bill in its current state….you’d think that would be cool until you realized that this bill isn’t HARSH enough for that small collection of assholes. On a personal note, if there’s one person in America who makes me breathe a sigh of relief that DOUCHE MOTHERFUCKER is the president…it’s Ted Cruz.


And speaking of DOUCHE?  Where was he while all of these shenanigans were going on on Capitol Hill? He was having a rally…in Iowa…with big American flags and tractors behind him and 6,000 morons attending…I mean if he really wanted to make this totally American he should’ve included obese, diabetes-laden children wheezing just trying to walk across the stage. I don’t know if this was a rally or a bitch session but amongst the highlights was DOUCHE announcing that he would withhold welfare benefits for new immigrants for five years, that he was going to put solar panels on his wall (the old man is getting a touch PROGRESSIVE in his twilight years, I see),  he talked about the Russian investigation and the great big “witch hunt” going on in D.C., …DOUCHE also believes that using wind power won’t work…unless the wind is blowing. Yeah…one of those moments where you shake your head…but you expect it…you expect it. As for theses rallies…you know whom else had rallies when they were already in power?

This piece of shit:


this douche bag:


and THIS fucktard:


…just saying.

What the fuck else?????



Cosby....A town hall on how to avoid sexual assault charges or whatever sick shit Cliff Huxtable is up to? You don’t say….someone needs to tell that Coke shilling, JELL-O eating, pudding pop sucking rapist to sit down and shut the fuck up.


I’m going to talk about something I don’t do much on here, which is celebrities and stupid celebrity comments….this is in regards to Johnny Depp’s comments about DOUCHE this week that seemed to anger a lot of people, causing Jack the Pirate (or whatever the fuck that character in those ceaseless Disney ride films is called) to apologize. Depp, Kathy Griffin (oh wait…I did mention her a week or so ago…man, am a liar…I should run for president) and people of their ilk…ordinarily, sure, maybe not the smartest idea to allude to the assassination of a president…but here’s the rub…the very election of a racist, sexist, xenophobic, misogynistic, grab 'em by the pussy, rapist, Christ I’ll use his name here, Donald J. Trump as president of the United States by 60+ million mentally disturbed,  people has, in my humble opinion, degraded the office of president and has removed whatever dignity and respect that office has held. Instead we're faced with a cartoon commander position, a lying, cheating charlatan in the highest office in the land who cares not one BIT about this country, who profited off of the last financial collapse, who boast about not paying the taxes that you pay, who wants to disenfranchise your fellow citizens, who actively put people in positions of power to dismantle the very foundations of justice we have. This is a president? This is someone above the fray? Bullshit In effect, there is no president….so if celebrities or other people with a public mouthpiece want to challenge how far they can go in their rhetoric…I say it’s open fucking season....and for the three of you whom actually read this blog...if you don't agree...then agree to disagree my friends.

anyway... we live in hell.  we live in a DOUCHE created chaos that shows no signs of ending....but stick around. At 10:30 today we have Catfish McDaris...and Sunday at 10:30 we have yours truly.

SUBMIT2RESIT winedrunksidewalk@gmail.com