Tuesday, September 19, 2017



most people
call it news

the few of us
with a brain

i really
wonder if
the american
people truly
the concept
of tearing
down to
the ground

the soul


--J.J. Campbell

Monday, September 18, 2017


Super Volcano

I hold my hand out
and feel the heat
radiating from the Earth.
The water boils.
The pot gurgles.
The water looks mean.
The lid claps.
The people clap.
The people cheer.
It’s all very exciting.
Their faces contort —
What’s with their eyes?
Why do they look
hypnotized? Why
do they cheer death?
They’re mostly old.
Not all of them, though.
Why does name-calling
make them giddy?
Shouldn’t they know better?
Why does the promise
of violence move them
like a kiss? Have their
lives been this terrible?
Stop complaining,
snowflake, says
the guy at work.
He just bought
a gun and
5,000 bullets
“just in case.”
He’s made a list.
You are on it.
There’s room
for everyone. He
stomps his feet.
The ground rumbles
like a belly.

--Bob Pajich

Sunday, September 17, 2017


Secret Service

the Orange Menace
has used up his
8 year budget for
the Secret Service
although he will
only last two

the Secret Service
has had to cut back
on their services

they have cut back
90% on staff and
hired high school

for every female
intern they have
two boys watching
to keep off the
predators, well
the one predator

they can’t give the
interns weapons
so they gave them
bullet proof vests
and told them to
surround the big Orange
and to jump if
they hear gunfire
which they won’t do
because they ain’t
getting paid

they've taken to
using hand signals
which gets a bit
confusing when bees
come buzzing around
their faces

the big Orange
(his Secret Service
code name)
thinks the teens
are just fans
and doesn’t notice
that there are less
agents around

he also hasn’t
noticed that he
is now travelling
in a ‘68 VW Thing
followed by the
teens on stingrays

the agents that are
left have all started
office pools on
when he will be
taken down, time of day,
weapon, and whether
it will be his
White House staff
or one of the many
that he has fired

they all can’t wait
for when they will
be protecting
President Pence...

oh my, well
maybe not

--Thomas R. Thomas

Saturday, September 16, 2017


orange ash sky

we eat
german currywurst
under the orange ash sky in seattle
as the woman who served us
says her family home in utah
may burn to the ground
forty-five years her parents have been there
to maybe go up like a pack of matchsticks
we nod in sympathy
ingest currywurst and soot
as the pacific northwest burns
in fiery splendor
as the desert rages in brushfires and heat
as california suffocates
as hurricane flood waters drown
texas and florida
we look up into the orange ash haze
at the blood red sun almost hidden
at mountain ranges lost in the smog
at people taking pictures of this madness
we eat the food with storm surges
licking the tip of our tongues
twenty dead here
another thirty-five gone over there
while young asian girls in baby-doll dresses
walk by us wearing surgical masks
like a pack of tarted-up doctors
off to stand in line outside of starbucks
for rainbow sherbet frappuccinos
sucked down cold during these end times
we clean curry ketchup
off of our fingers
daydream berlin
eat a last salty and greasy fry
drink that precious bottled water
breathe in the smoke and grime into our tar-covered lungs
as the woman from utah tells someone else
to bear with her
bear with me, she says
looking up at the orange ash sky
because i just haven’t been right, honey
not right at all

--John Grochalski

WineDrunk SideWalk: ShipWrecked in TrumpLand week THIRTY FOUR wrap up

First....thank you to Jason Baldinger for stepping in and doing the week THIRTY THREE duties...Jason and I had a chance to see each other in NYC over the last weekend, and both sort of admitted that doing these weekly wrap-ups leaves your mind and soul akin to someone battling harsh DT's by the end of the week....still...we march on.

As of this writing at least 26 people in the U.S. are dead as a result of Hurricane Irma and there are 27 reported deaths in the Caribbean; there's food violence in the Caribbean; the Keys are in shambles....hell...man Disney is even closed ...still....according to walking skeleton, Ann Coulter, the Hurricane amounted to nothing but boredom. Well, Ann, I'm sorry that 50+ deaths are not enough to satisfy you...maybe next time lay on the beach as the hurricane winds pick up and finger-fuck yourself while thinking about Trump's baby-dick...just a suggestion...or, you know, donate and help you fucking devil.

Speaking of Devil's.....Steve Bannon emerged from his D.C. hovel to sit down for an interview with 60 Minutes...boy, Bannon is so full of his own shit he probably can't tell the difference between the smell of his breath and that of his asshole. Still, some of the highlights: Bannon accused the GOP and its leadership of trying to nullify DOUCHE MOTHERFUCKER'S election win by not jumping aboard his so-called "populist train and embracing all of DOUCHE's ludicrous ideas. He called the Comey firing a big mistake; he's at war with the GOP; once DOUCHE builds his wall he'll win the 2020 election in a landslide....blah blah blah...that kind of bullshit.  If you really want to watch this moron talk his sorry ass game, you can do so HERE ...but be warned...i lost IQ points doing so.

Look...ordinarily i'd LOVE to see someone go to war against the GOP....shitheads like Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan have been ASKING for it.....but a neo-nazi, white supremacist? I'd rather read Charles Blow.  Still...i'd love for Bannon to be right about one thing....i'd love to see a Civil War in the GOP.. ..i'd love to see that whole, stinking, rotting, Domestic Terrorist party fall to its fucking knees and be done.....let's make America great again by having actual fucking adults run the country.

And maybe we'll get it.... DOUCHE, finding no way to stretch those world "famous" negotiating legs with his own crooked party, reached across the continental divide to cut a few deals with the Democrats this week. First DOUCHE agreed to a budget/debt ceiling extension in a deal done with Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi, which included hurricane relief money. Second, this brand new dream team of DOUCHE/Schumer/Pelosi have apparently agreed on a deal to turn DACA into law all the while strengthening our border by putting duct tape or whatever along that already existing fence so that DOUCHE and his supporters can keep yapping about a wall at his next Nazi rally.


FIRST.......if I'm Chuck Schumer and/or Nancy Pelosi....why am i making any FUCKING DEAL with this racist nazi shit-wad? Look, I'm not fan of stagnant government and i really wish the DACA executive order stayed but Trump has never been welcomed by the GOP, they've resisted him in that spineless GOP way the whole time, he's been essentially marginalized and made a lame duck before his first year is out....and then you democratic fucks go and legitimize him to an extent?  And i don't care about your motives....maybe it looks good to have the grand wizard brought to his knees making deals, maybe you honestly believe that working with this rapist is what's best for the country and for the so-called Dreamers....maybe you got drunk, Chuck and Nancy, and Trump looked good under a certain light....all the same...i'm not buying it. You lied down with a racist, rapist, xenophobic dog twice this week...this shit will come back and bite you both in your geriatric asses.


Anyone seen those pictures of DOUCHE down in Florida wearing his Wal-Mart USA hat and white gloves and pretending to be the common man.....pretty scary stuff. The poor orange bastard looked like he was confused and trying to figure out where the nearest golf course was.....like....me Trump...why me in Florida and no play golf??? I mean, seriously.....look at this asshole:

What a motley crew of D-bags we have. We got POTUS46 who can't stand near women because he's scared of them, but has obviously been practicing his super hero pose. Of course there's DOUCHE making DOUCHE faces because he can't control himself. We've got trophy wife #3 who looks more uncomfortable in casual wear each time we see her....i can only imagine the conversations....Melanoma probably wishes for hurricane season to end more than people living in the gulf....but i digress....then we've got random woman, whom I'm assuming is there to keep Pence nervous....and is that......is that Rick Scott?? The old climate changing Governor himself? Nothing says getting shit done like this picture....USA! USA! USA!

Of course DOUCHE did find the time in Florida to further entrench himself in his racist rhetoric by once again comparing Antifa folks with Neo-Nazis. I'm curious how far the coffee was spit out of Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi's mouths when they heard that one.

*I have no clue why Ted Cruz and Porn have been linked this week as I didn't bother to look into it. That said any mention of Ted Cruz and porn in the same sentence does nothing but give porn a bad name*

...actually want to give yourself shutters? Think back to last spring when we were honestly debating whether or not Ted Cruz would be a better choice over DOUCHE for the GOP nominee....seriously...like how would you like your poison sir? fucking america....you've had it wrong since 1776.

Speaking of getting it wrong...Hillary Clinton was back in the news this week. On Tuesday her memoir of the 2016 campaign, What Happened? was released to fanfare and controversy and was potent enough to get this ASSHOLE thrown into jail. I haven't been reading much about the book because I want to keep it a surprise and not ruin the ending for myself, but I've heard that DOUCHE is none too pleased, and that the other side of his snake oil salesman con artist coin, Bernie Sanders is none too pleased....sounds liked good reading to me.

but...you know...emails, baby.....emails......

You know...i voted for Bernie Sanders in the 2016 primary....actually that's untrue. I attempted to vote for Bernie Sanders but i wasn't fully registered yet as a Democrat so my vote didn't count....that said, i regret the decision. I can accuse Trump voters all i want about being taken in by bullshit and lies and empty promises...but for a while I was taken in the very same way. Bernie Sanders, and subsequently the sycophant-zealots who helped divide the democratic party  and get Donald Trump elected, are no better than those fat, lazy, inbred swine who attend DOUCHE rallies and chant shit like "lock her up!" They didn't want to do what was right for the country. Sanders supporters like the rest of us saw the dangers in a Trump White House and still acted like precious little snowflakes whose vote was a virginal gift at the altar....seeing these people online....they've since doubled-down. You Democrats think 2018 and 2020 is your year? Talk to Sanders supporter. Go get a moca-choca-latte with a Bernie bro and see how far we have yet to go.

To be honest....i think the thing that irks me most about Trump/Sanders zealots is their desire to be led. America has too many people willing to be led and too few honest leaders. Maybe I'm the defect. But I've never had a favorite boss, teacher etc......and I've never been a particular fan of voting for politicians. I've been around since Nixon. I came of age during Reagan. The only president that I can honestly say that I liked was Obama. I don't believe I'll see another descent U.S. president in my lifetime.  But I did get to see this.....


When he wasn't dodging his duties of office by making a call of condolence to the president of MEXICO or tweeting away terrorism in LONDON by calling out Scotland Yard and calling terrorists losers, or even basking in the glow of disenfranchising the dreams of hundreds of thousands of hopeful would-be productive one-day citizens, DOUCHE MOTHERFUCKER, on Friday, proved to be loyal to that race of his own. That's right, little Johnny Appleseed out of Whitebread, Virginia, got to fulfill a lifelong dream of mowing the White House lawn as the Grand Wizard himself looked on.....how nice....it's so hard for white males to find work in America these days.

                                          (Well.....Hitler was allowed to have his youth)

It was reported this week that Jeffy "the racist" Sessions was humiliated by being berated and called names by an angry DOUCHE, and offered up his resignation as Attorney General. Yeah, I'm with you on this one Jeffy (a bit of a self plug for my novel Wine Clerk here as I've also been subject to this kind of crap by small men....if you want to review the book I'd happily send you a copy for free). You might be a racist piece of shit, Jeffy, but i'd be humiliated too if a small-pricked, nazi philistine like Donald Trump called me names. But consider yourself lucky, Jeffy...you're a man. And we all know what Mr. Wife-rapist, sexual assaulting, "grab 'em by the pussy" Donald Trump does to women when he gets them alone behind closed doors.

That's it for me.....lots of shit I missed....like that little bitch in North Korea shooting off his missiles or what a punch of fucking cowards the folks at Harvard are for bowing down to plastic patriots like Mike Pompeo. We LOVE you here at WineDrunk Chelsea.

Anyway....stick around. Since no one reads this shit on the weekend you got me at 10:30. Tomorrow is the always awesome Thomas R. Thomas at the same time tomorrow.

I need poems and art and fiction. We were flush for a while now but the river is running dry. If you like what we're doing here....send art. send poems. send writing. send rants. Tell your friends. Hell...tell your enemies and ex-lovers.

SUBMIT2RESIST : winedrunksidewalk@gmail.com

Friday, September 15, 2017


A Few Scots Insult Donald Trump

You tit.
You spoon.
You moron.
You numpty.
You utter fool.
Oi, buttplug face.
You ignorant fuckmuppet.
You polyester cockwomble.
Ya hamster heedit bampot.
you hoofwanking bunglecunt.
You mangled apricot hellbeast.
You witless fucking cocksplat!
You weaselheaded fucknugget.
You cock juggling thundercunt!
You incompressible jizztrumpet.
You leather faced, shit-tobogganist.
You tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon.

 - Steven B. Smith

Thursday, September 14, 2017


The Upset
—November 08, 2016

October’s variegation
   pollsters’ predictions
all these leaves lost to the wind
   election results

the howl of the wind
as the rain begins
   her concession

a stiff wind shakes
leafless branches
   the chill sets in
storm front blows in,
flips the flag upside down
   how appropriate
-- Dianne Borsenik