Poem of the Day 07.11.08

going to the doctor

he came recommended by my wife
a down to earth guy
doesn’t get too riled up about anything
so i went for it
because i’d had these chest pains for
three weeks
and couldn’t help thinking what it was anymore.
so i called him
with the chest pounding
and he was down to earth
and even told me he’d open early the
next morning,
which was nice.
so i get there and after the paperwork
he has me piss in a cup
then sit in the room and we talk about
my family history
and the pains
and i tell him they are all over the left arm
and in the chest
and the chest gets tight
and how i fart and shit too much
and drink too much
and he asks what
and i say scotch and wine and beer
and he nods like a doctor nods
then we do the blood pressure
and i’m 130/90 in one arm and 140/90
in the next
i’m borderline he tells me
and that works because i thought i’d
gone over the edge years ago.
we do the lungs next and then the stethoscope
then he checks my piss and it’s fine.
then hooks me up for a small ekg, as i lay back
and look out his glass ceiling
where the sky is blue and a plane goes by
carrying people all over the place,
and i think this wouldn’t be such a bad scene
to die looking at.
then the doctor is done with the ekg and tells me
that my heart is fine
but that i’ve got really bad and twisted nerves
and muscles
compounded with irritable bowels
which is most probably causing the chest pain.
i ask him what i should do
and he tells me i have to give it two weeks
on a bland diet.
i think okay most food is bland anyway
i’m in the clear
but then i ask about the booze
and he tells me in a very down to earth way
that i cannot have booze
for the two weeks either
and like a machine i say okay
but really i know that i haven’t gone a day
without booze since last year,
and a part of me wishes it was the heart
and that there wasn’t much time
then i’d just lay back down
and watch the blue sky and the silver planes
with a cold case of miller or bud
until everything ran its course
but i know that isn’t what i really want
so i get up and shake the doctors hand,
pay my bill,
then open the lobby door and see my wife
sitting there
nervous, watching me,
and looking at her, i know i’d never need
another drink again
which is kind of like telling her i love her
and that she is the world to me
but in my own peculiar way.

07.11.08