poem of the day 06.05.09

what comes next?

the internet had it today
the papers will tomorrow
some old actor found naked and hanged
in thailand
done away with himself
and whenever i read about
one of these suicides
i always end up finding the person
to be of great strength and noble character
though others probably find them
foolish and pathetic
i am also amazed at how
they had the courage to do it
to give up all the shit, just like that
me? i’m such a coward
afraid to die
because i’m afraid of what comes next
i wake up and go to work
and pay bills and eat food
i’ve done it for years and probably will every day
until i die on company time
in the office bathroom after taking a last shit
but this actor
those brave people who end it all
what guts it must take to say no more bullshit
we look up to athletes and politicians
but these are the real heroes
the ones who’ve beautifully thrown it all away
the ones found hung in closets by their spouses
in cars with the engines running
in a locked garage
on the floor with a bottle of sleeping pills
the wrist cutters
the ones found with their head in an oven
these are the masters
the artists
our national treasures
the ones who’ve stood up against humanity
the ones we should be making statues of
or putting on postage stamps
instead of bob hope or ronald reagan
or some other fucker who danced and sang
and hung around this rock
much longer than they should’ve