poem of the day 04.02.10

my first dance

we always said
do you want to go with me
back in those days
it meant to date
going steady
going with each other

carrie and i were
at the seventh grade dance
i was probably
forty pounds overweight
she was overweight
but not as bad as me

we got along in class

i made her laugh
she liked the same music as i did

that was enough back then
it’s probably still enough now

marriages are built on less

carrie asked me to dance
maybe i asked her to dance

i don’t think so
because i was a chicken-shit
when it came to women in those days

i’m still a chicken-shit
when it comes to women

we danced

i held her sides
i could feel carrie’s fat

she had her arms around my shoulders
the one place where
i could hide from my girth

but i knew my stomach
was pressed tightly against her

over the pa system was a song
that we both liked

it wasn’t our favorite band
but i was all right

there was something about the mood
the lighting, maybe
being that close to a girl
who wasn’t turned off by me

the smell of her sweat and perfume

i asked her to go with me

she said yes

my first dance and my first girlfriend
in the same night

when we looked up, joey rizzuto
was standing next to us
he was smirking at me
he told me way to go and he slapped me
on the back

i knew he didn’t mean it

we went back to dancing
while joey went over to tell the guys
about my going steady

there was a small round of laughter
that carrie and i heard

we finished dancing

at school the next monday
i didn’t make her laugh
we didn’t talk about our favorite band

her friend, teresa, told me two days later
that carrie wanted to break up

when joey rizzuto asked me what happened
i told him

he slapped me on the back again
he looked genuinely sympathetic

by lunch the news
had made the rounds
i was back on the block
and not a girl or a dance would care
for another seven years

and by the three o’clock bell
that day
everyone at that school
cared about something else.


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