poem of the day 10.29.12

hurricane

i was a hurricane of a man,

jerry tells me

shaking his cran and vodka

i used to pull a lot of women

back then

when i worked sanitation

but i never got over her

we dated five years

five years and all i did was

cheat on her

i never felt bad about it

until last weekend, though,

when i saw her

i was with my buddy

we were dropping his daughter

off at college

and there she was

she’s the dean

of the biology department now

she hardly looked any different

from when we were together

she looked good

when i got home i looked her up

on the internet

i paid some money and i got

her address and phone number

i have her email address too

the computer said she had two kids

i found out that she was divorced

i have five kids myself from three

different women

i have to say i never loved

any of them as much as i loved her

i’m thinking of getting in touch

but i don’t know what the proper way

to do it is

i wanted to write her a letter

but i’m no good at writing or emailing

i figure maybe i’ll just go up there

show up at the biology department

but i probably won’t get to see her

because things have gotten

so damned fucked up since 9/11

they think everyone is a criminal

or terrorist now

i don’t want to cause a scene

at the school, jerry says

my buddy’s daughter goes there, you know,

i think causing a scene would

send the wrong message

i think i’m just going to show up at her house

maybe i’ll buy some flowers

see if there’s any spark between us

after all of those years

i wish i never let her go

she was a good woman back then

the best

but i was a hurricane of a man in those days

i blew through love

i just didn’t think it would

get as bad as all of this.

                                    04.19.10