the garden of
gethsemane
i can taste
the first of a few scotches
i think two weeks away from a job
a man can get too used to freedom
but one day back can strip it all away
and leave his dignity hanging by the noose
and then she comes in
she looks like the nun
who taught me all the way back in eighth grade
this old hen who used to torment me
with declarations of hell
because i never bought into the bullshit
never accepted that sad imp jesus
as my one and only savior
so i take an instant dislike to this woman
i don’t appreciate her smile
it has a reverent smugness to it
safe in the knowledge that she’s always right
always stuck talking to assholes like me
and, oh, how i can taste that first scotch
one little, two little, three little scotches
she asks me for help
schedules, tax forms, reading recommendations
for genres that i don’t give a shit about
and there is under five minutes left in this work day
when i look at my watch
she asks me if i have somewhere else to be
i tell her yes, it’s called my life
i tell her the sun has gone down on my benevolence
and now it’s time for the real me to rise again
she says but isn’t the customer always right
not in my tree, i say
and then i go to shut off the lights in the building
so i can spend the night forgetting myself
letting my liver make love to a bottle of clan macgregor
four little, five little, six little scotches
she just stands there
that smile still plastered across the face
like that old nun before she’d tip over my desk
or kick me out of her classroom for a week
i give her one last look and think fuck it
i let my river of alcoholic bliss take me away
as a final salutation this woman calls me lazy
and storms out of the building
then i pop the first switch
i let each light click off slowly
until the whole space is dark and silent
devoid of nearly all flesh but my own
finally holy
after all of the hours that it tangled
with my mortal coil
and made a sacrifice of my soul.
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