poem of the day 06.24.14

so this is what death feels like

the sound of the doctor’s voice

telling the nurse to wake me up

slap him if you have to, he says

so she does

but not hard

open his eyes

and then there are fingers clamping my lids

opening my eyes

everything around me is blurry and yellow

until the lids drop again

and then it is black

the doctor, the nurse,

someone lifts my arm

i try to keep it up but the limb drops

back on the bed

he’s trying, the nurse says to the doctor

so this is what death feels like, i’m thinking

a struggle just like life

i try moving in the bed

but nothing is really working

lift his leg, the doctor says

someone does

i’m able to keep it up for a few seconds

before it falls back as well

someone slaps me again

i’m starting to feel like larry fine

they lift the eyes a second time

i manage two or three seconds

blurry

yellow

faces coming at me with stale breath

then it all goes black again

while in my mind i’m running as fast as i can

away from this

toward a green ocean

when the doctor says, slap him again

and i wait patiently

for the impact.