south arabia
the man standing in line at the post office
goes up to the clerks with his package
and says, south arabia
instead of saying saudi
and it’s the funniest thing
these people have heard all day
the little post office line
where humor must come around
as frequently as haley’s comet
the clerk has the man repeat his request again
south arabia, he says,
and they’re dying in the aisles here
all the postal clerks
the fat dumpy people in line
waiting to mail their packages
to much more exotic locations
like south bend, indiana or wellsburg, west virginia
south arabia! a postal clerk shouts
he howls and holds his sides
because he can’t handle the pain of laughter
the man standing there
the greatest unknown comedian of our times
he’s smiling at everyone
but he doesn’t seem to know what they’re all laughing about
he shakes his package at the postal clerk
yes, south arabia, he says
and there they all go again
new rounds of laughter and riotous belly aching
one flabby turd is coughing
because he’s got the giggles so bad
it’s a standing room only stand-up show
here at the post office, ladies and gentlemen
one of the clerks stops snorting
long enough to tell the man
we don’t send packages to no south arabia
confusing the shit out of the guy
who stands there still smiling like a holy goof
before he finally takes his package and leaves
to catcalls and guffaws
shouts of encore! encore!
south arabia!
south arabia!
they’ll be here all night, folks. 
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