day ONE HUNDRED and EIGHTY FOUR

Just Block Him

Just block him, you said.

I don’t understand, you said.

I know, I said.

I should.

It’s just.

Just what? Just block him.

He’s a troll.
He’s an idiot.

It’s just Twitter.

Just block him.

I know but

the thing is

I want to think

I can change him.

Can slowly dismantle

centuries of thinking

or worse

that if I don’t fight back

I’m letting down all the other

women who speak up

and talk about these things.

That we are tethered to fighting

like a ship at sea

trying to stay afloat in the tempest.

We have no choice.

Just block him, you said.

Do it. Otherwise I’m going

to say something.

I thought of all the arguments

all the articles to verify and link to

all the work to prove my humanity

to a human who thought

I was lucky things were the way they were

that they could be so much worse.

That starving was better than drowning

even though they both ended in death.

Alright, I said.

I’ll block him.

And I won’t think of it as quitting.

But when I logged in

it was already done

and he had blocked me

and I know he didn’t

not really

not in the big scheme kind of way

but truth be told

It sure feels like

he won.

--Ally Malinenko