you’ve got to do something
about all of this shit that you’re playing,
he said, getting right up
into my face.
but i didn’t play this, i said.
well who did?
he had a thick irish accent
and was drunk.
let me ask you something, he said.
are you canadian or american?
i always get the two mixed up.
american, i said.
new york? well then you’ve got
no business being in here.
he was right, of course.
i had no business being in most places.
london, new york, places due east,
none of them really needed
say? he said. have you ever heard
of a band called therapy?
there a bit like metallica, before
metallica turned to shit.
i didn’t know metallica had turned to shit.
of course they did, he said. they
turned to shit
when they started playing music
i moved aside and he started dropping
pounds into the jukebox.
i’m going to play you some therapy
fine, i said.
i went back to the table.
what was that all about? my wife asked.
it was just some irishman, i said.
he thought that i was canadian.
and now he’s playing me love songs.
we looked over at him.
he was playing air guitar and had his tie
thrown over his shoulder.
when he caught my eye
he came over
and leaned in close to my wife.
hey, he said. he tells me he’s from new york
only he doesn’t sound like he’s from new york.
he’s got a soft accent.
i’m really from pittsburgh, i said. pennsylvania.
well could you do a new york accent for me? he asked.
i looked at my wife
sure, i said.
and then i tried to remember what a new york
accent sounded like.
it was sort of like a canadian accent,
only much rougher
and a lot harder on the ears than most.