open toed
my wife doesn’t understand my fixation
with the grocery store girls
when we’re out and i see one of them in public
i’ll point the poor girl out to her
just like we’ve just seen a celebrity
my wife will just shake her head and ask me why i care
she thinks that i flirt with the grocery store girls
but i don’t dream of it
they are the mistresses of my canned corn and frozen meats
and i just stare at them in awe without speaking
i doubt a single one of them would recognize me
out here on the street
but today in the store they were all gathered around me
like i was a pimp
only they had no clue that i was really there
they were comparing their shoes
because the store has some rule about open toed footwear
and it seems as though each and every clerk
was breaking the rule without realizing it
a dumb rule anyway
if you ask a guy like me
so there they were showing each other their toes
with their candy-colored nail polish
and one of the girls kept telling the others
how their shoes were all breaking the rules
like a group of anarchists had settled in to check out
lettuce
and stock tomato sauce
each of the girls were bummed out and embarrassed
nervous about the situation
because no wants to be a rule breaker in america
it’s not conducive to financial stability
and i wished that my wife was in the store
to finally understand the drama that i see in this place
i mean this was a big fucking deal
more than oscar worthy in its presentation
and as i grabbed my bag of groceries
i got up the nerve and said to them all
good luck with the open toed thing, ladies
my grocery girls all turned red and burst out laughing
because they realized that i’d been listening
the customer fully realized
the big tension breaker that sent them all scurrying back
to their check-out machines
mr. comic relief
stroking his fifteen minutes of fame
amongst the stars
and maybe next time my wife and i are out on the street
and i see one of those young ladies walking by
free in sandals
they’ll point and wink and maybe say hi
but if they don’t
then that’s all right too.
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