Wednesday, March 5, 2014

poem of the day 03.05.14


to the young romantic in me

i was such a young romantic back then
my notebooks and journals were filled
with ruminations on the great american highway
the ol’ american highway as i called it
musing jazz music i hardly knew
anointing every truck driver a saint
downing gallons of coffee and beer like precious manna
writing about how reading ginsberg’s kaddish
was like connecting to a god
even though i couldn’t make it through the thing
and still can’t
i was so sensitive
too sensitive for all of the girls in pittsburgh
yet i walk around having crush after crush after crush
my poor girlfriend at the time
we had to break up  because i wasn’t the one for her
i wasn’t stable enough with my wild kerouacian dreams
of roaming the american landscape
when the only landscape i roamed
was a south side bar on a friday night
i was such a romantic and such a sensitive asshole
with my goatee and ever-present notebooks of gloom
writing “blues” poems full of gobbledygook
the first brave soul to ever put words to paper
having deep, profound, literary moments just brushing my teeth
or taking the morning bus to college
everything was art and art was everything
if i ran into young romantic self now
i’d have to hold myself back from beating my own ass
i’d grab my romantic self by the collar and tell him
to quit whining in those old journals and get a fucking job
get out of your parents’ house and get a clue
find a woman and let her destroy you
then try to be profound and romantic
when the rent comes due
and the money from all of those student loans you took
show up with the electric bill
try being romantic on the loud bus after work
when all you want is to go home and have a drink
or in the grocery store, asshole
when they’re out of coffee and cat food
and some bitch hits you with her cart
then tells you that it’s your fault
for daydreaming.                                              

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You don't write about gloom and despair anymore. I feel your sensitivity, which I'm sure you are trying not to portray.

John Grochalski said...

i'm moving more toward sadness and futility....is the lack of gloom a bad thing?

Anonymous said...

No, but To try to fix a problem created by hearts and minds without starting at the source is an exercise in futility. The solution is from inside out, not outside in. Any way keeep the writing, it gets me through my day. Thank you..............