prodigal
when i tell my mother
that ally and i are coming home
for christmas
there’s silence on the other end of the phone
the signal lost?
i start thinking
these damned things…
but then i hear my mom huff and sigh
and i know that she’s crying
it goes without saying
between the two of us that
it’s been a hard year
wall to wall cancer
and no one talks about the new year
with any excitement
although that just may be what comes with age
i give her a few minutes
ask where she is
the mall, she says
shopping for the granddaughter
that she hardly gets to see
the niece who’ll never really know me
when my mom breaths deep
she says that i’ve made her holiday
son, you just don’t know
how good it feels when your child tells you
that they are coming home
i laugh
think of how wasteful i am with my emotions
wonder how long it’s been
since i made anyone’s day
tell her i hope to never
experience that feeling
which explains more about the gulf
between me and everyone i know
then any other word i could type down
to end this pointless piece
of poetry.
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