poem of the day 03.19.15

the poetry rejection

in 1999 i was

three years out of college

working in a library basement

checking-in magazines and newspapers for a living

delivering mail and stocking book donations

making fifteen grand a year

which mostly went to rent, bills,

gas money and smokes

she had written three books of poetry in twenty years

but was well-known around the city

for being one of the hard-working literary big shots

she’d been my teacher in college

had given me c.k. williams and a b minus

for missing too many of her classes

in one small stretch

i’d read two of her books on a plane

from florida back to pittsburgh

then proceeded to forget them both

but i was hardly getting by

living bad paycheck to bad paycheck

growing green on peanut butter sandwiches

and hardly writing a word of my own

i thought the only way

i’d ever make it was to go back to grad school

and get an MFA degree

hide in some college until i died

i needed a recommendation

so i thought about the poet and her books

the c.k. williams and the b minus

i started leaving messages for her

but she never got back to me

when i finally got her

she said, well, you know

in that soothing poet voice she’d used in class

usually i do recommendations

but i’ve just been so busy with my own poetry lately

the new book, readings

that i simply don’t have the time to write a letter for you

she laughed her flighty poet laugh

said, you know, this is the first time

i’ve ever said no to anyone

then she said, good luck with the poetry, and hung up on me

as i sat there

surrounded by a pile of mail

that needed to be sorted

a dull ache in my belly

half a pack of cigarettes left until payday

and another peanut butter sandwich waiting

with my name written all over it

for her next book to come out

eleven years later.