overeaters anonymous
my mother loved me
she fed me dish after dish at dinner
a heaping of pasta in three rounds
another hot dog coming out of boiling water
she kept candy and cakes
and potato chips by the dozen
the media loved me
i loved twinkies by the bushel
and shooting globs of canned cheese in my mouth
while i sat there like jabba the hutt
watching copious amounts of television
sat their contented with my evening snack
a cream horn, a huge piece of cake
a bowl of popcorn just for me
as my old man walked through the living room
singing, wasting away
again in sitcomville
to the tune of a jimmy buffett song
the corporate world loved me
stouffer’s pizzas and hot pockets galore
mcdonald’s commercials and not avoiding the noid
a cocktail of sugar, salt and fat being cooked up just for
me
in labs all over this great land
i ate pop tarts for breakfast every morning
until the doctor caressed my stretch marks
and went wild with rage
i sucked the heinz ketchup packets
and finished everyone’s fries
i was beyond husky
i wore sweatpants out of necessity
and those faded jeans with elastic waists
ate meatball sandwich after meatball sandwich
after meatball sandwich at christmas
because baby jesus loved me
until i heard my aunt whisper
christ, look at what he’s doing to himself
the kids loved me
a girl at school whom i liked
called me jumbo john
me and jimmy jackson played duck duck cow
on saturday afternoons
while the other kids played outside
i stood in front of my parent’s mirror
i looked at my girth, at my obesity
then i punched myself in the stomach
over and over again until i could barely stand
slapped my face
until i had red welts all over
then went and hid in my room
because more than anyone else
in this beautiful and benevolent world
i loved me
only i couldn’t yet figure out
how to express it best.
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