Friday, February 5, 2016

poem of the day 02.05.16

try someone else brother

then there’s this lunatic
sitting next to us on the N train

one of those shouting screaming ones
who has multiple souls inside of him
all trying to tear him apart

the schizophrenics never get benevolent beings
i state as a matter of fact

but still we were the stupid ones
who didn’t see him there

didn’t realize one half of the train was empty
save this guy and all his innards

but that’s what euphoria will do
or is this just relief?

i mean you were gone what?
three, three-and-a-half hours

this after coming out of the exam room twice
in your gown, which i know you hate

in tears i might add

because the technicians had lost your films
and weren’t going to do the mammogram

it was stupid of me, all things considered
to be thinking in that moment…thank christ

not because i didn’t want the mammogram done
we’d been steeling ourselves for it for two months

because breast cancer at thirty-seven will do that

or because i wanted you to have to trudge home
take off work again
worry for who knows how many weeks
because of some clerical error or filing mishap

it’s just that i thought thank christ
because i’d seen you crying in hospital gowns before

in corridors with fake picasso’s on the wall

knowing that it could get
much much worse than a cancelled appointment

but still three hours was a long time
i’ve never paced in a waiting room before

like a film character
something out of a 1930s baby romp
as people who came in after came and went

i wondered if it would be an impropriety
to barge back in that examining room
find you within the crowd of women

all in hospital gowns and on cell phones
all facing their own kind of terror

just for some information and solace

and i was going to do it too
except you came out around high noon
with thumbs up and a smile

safe for another six months
before we start this circus all over again

so, really, what’s one lunatic schizo
screaming in my face
mean to us on an afternoon N train?

a lot

that’s why we got the hell off at the next stop
and ran like two scheming kids to the next train

his madcap voice trailing us down the station

because the surge of life
will do that to you

they say it’s funny sometimes
so darling…laugh     
we got so much to live for                    

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