bad head
the grocery cashier
is simultaneously checking his cell phone
and ringing up my groceries
there is no time for pleasantries
in this day and age of surrender and self-importance
that’s all right i’ve talked to enough people today
i notice the lettuce in my basket
more brown than green
and hard pellets of dirt that look like dried dung
smashed in places all over the bag
that’s par for the course here too
i think about all of the rotten peppers and cucumbers
that i’ve had to throw away from this place
the rancid meat they still have
sitting on the shelves
the expired eggs that i’ve watched the stock boys
switch to different packages
now i’ve lost my appetite and i need a drink
i decide to leave the lettuce in the basket
and put it down on the ground with the other strays
when the lady behind me starts shouting
sir, sir, your lettuce!
i pretend like she’s speaking a different language
she has enough toilet paper
that she could wipe the ass of the army for a month
the cashier simultaneously plays on his cell phone
and gives me my change
while she’s still yelling about the lettuce
if you didn’t want it, sir,
why didn’t you just put it back?
a good question, i guess
but i’m going to leave her hanging
as she turns to the other people in line
saying, do you believe the nerve of some people
it gives me pause and then a little smile
the grocery store bad boy once again
i turn and wink at the woman
then head home
knowing i’ve given her something to talk about all night
maybe even think about tomorrow morning
while she’s on the shitter
or wiping her fat nosey ass
with one of those rolls of toilet paper that she bought.
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