day THREE HUNDRED and SEVENTY SIX

Expect

Larry Nassar was a doctor so we trusted him.

We didn’t think he would hurt those girls

not with their mothers so close by

not with them only being 11 or 12 or 13

(one

as young

as six)

but we were wrong

and now we know

as one woman, after another

grown but still cracked

talked about how

all those years ago

he laid hands on her perfect knees

parted her small legs

and forced his way inside

and how they carried it

the way women learn to carry the pain

of men betraying them

of men taking what they want.

One after another they lined up

160 women

who were girls

whose lives went spinning horribly out of control.

And even those women who were gone

who ended their own lives instead of live with

the memories of his touch

so unwanted

so violent

they had their mothers and fathers there to speak for them.

And I couldn’t help but notice how much smaller the outrage was.

I remember when we all found out about the football coach

who abused those boys.

The shock and horror, the outrage, the think pieces

and I waited and waited

but this time nothing came.

Not one essay, not one opinion piece about the man

who ruined 160 lives over 20 years

or the institutions and people that protected him

and then I realized why.

We are horrified when our boys are raped.

but

we expect it

for our girls.

--Ally Malinenko