Thursday, January 7, 2016

poem of the day 01.07.16

my memory

seems to be going
in small fits and starts
not the big things like where i live
or each grudge and slight
i’ve accumulated over the years
all the women then girls
who wanted nothing to do with me
no, for me it’s the small things
that i’m missing
forgetting items at the grocery store
even carrying around a goddamned handwritten list
dumping the parts of vegetables i need
into the garbage can
and keeping the skin or rind
occasionally a name won’t come to me
it’ll take me a few minutes to remember the title
of a good movie from long ago
or one of the few truly great books i’ve read
in those moments i’ll get scared
and think it’s age finally setting in
here it is i’ll say
a little early onset dementia to go with the gray
i’ll blame the alcohol but only sparingly
still, you can’t do what i’ve been doing for years
and not think the brain cells
have finally started to give up
to my wife i’ll worry that it’s alzheimer’s
when my memory slips
i’ll get nuts and tell her that
i’ll be one of those guys at fifty
stuck in a home with people twice his age
my mind tattered and shot full of holes
no traces of a present or past
no hope for a future
she looks at me like i’m insane when i go on like this
she says, all of this drama because you forgot the gravy?
i want to tell her that it happens though
the corrosion of the mind at such a young age
the horrors done to memory
i know i read a novel about it a few years ago
by this author whose name
slips my mind at the moment
and whose title
i can’t even begin to remember.                      

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