fat german teacher
the fat german teacher
comes into the train car
shaking her seating plan at my wife and i
she doesn’t speak english
and we don’t speak german
it took us forever to get these seats
so i’m inclined to ignore the bitch
but she won’t go away
her students keep looking at us
they’re all braces and girl giggles
over traveling to prague
and whatever dumb shit german teenagers
look up on their cell phones
the fat german teacher keeps shouting
reservations! reservations!
the only english she knows
i look at my wife and say
i didn’t think there were
reservations on this train
but one of the giggling german girls
stops laughing and says,
we book the whole car
in her own broken anglican dialect
sure enough there are dozens of other
giggling german girls and boys surrounding us
the fat german teacher starts shouting
reservations! reservations! all over again
so my wife and i get up from our seats to go
but she won’t even let us out of the car
it’s reservations! reservations!
like she’s discovered a new language
pushing her seating chart into my face
ready to start world war iii
this blob of a human being
whom you don’t understand
who doesn’t understand you
who squeals like a pig when you finally push past her
your wife stepping on her pink hooves
as you hit her in the gut with your bag
in lieu of any international treaty
or public apology.
And....how about a little extra poem today.....
richard brautigan
watching the girl
at the old hamburg rathaus
eat french fries
and all i can think about is
mayonnaise.
No comments:
Post a Comment