Saturday, April 22, 2017

WineDrunk SideWalk: Shipwrecked in TrumpLand week THIRTEEN wrap up

Because I post on Saturdays I tend to miss whatever actually happens on Saturdays in these weekly wrap-ups…that probably didn’t matter during the Obama administration because during his era weekends tended to go quietly…unless some asshole decided to shoot up a church or club…but the DOUCHE administration is different…you never know when these inept assholes are going to strike. That is to say…I’ve been feeling a lot like this lately.

Happy Tax Day to everyone…our annual bargain with the devil. How much war did you pay for this year? A lot…I know. Congrats and a thank you to all of those people who participated in the Tax Day protests…it was a futile yet necessary act….DOUCHE ain’t releasing his tax forms folks….that ship has sailed. Still, I had personally been worried that protest/resistance was beginning to die down and folks were becoming complacent…so a special thanks to you Anti-fascist out in Berkeley who took a beating for all of us from the pro-trump brown coats who invaded the city on Saturday…and let’s be straight here…this was a purposeful invasion by DOUCHE supporters and the neo-nazi right. And of course they were helped by the cops who seemed to be a no-show unless it was to arrest people on the left. Twenty Three people were arrested as a matter of fact by the boys in blue as the nazis chanted their battle cry of USA! USA! USA! but what’s that saying? Cops and Klan go hand in hand…right?

Mike Pence was in South Korea talking like a plastic tough guy and helping to stir this dangerous soup of a stand-off we got going on with the North Koreans. Pence declared to the North Korean government that the “era of strategic patience is over,” and pretty much setting the stage for a coffee percolating drip of a Cuban missile style crisis in the Korean peninsula. Mike Pence, ladies and gentleman, a “man” who can’t have dinner alone with a single woman, a man who calls his wife mommy…the only thing that Mike Pence should be talking tough about his his steak and glass of whole milk…bitch please!

But it turns out that the carrier, the Carl Vinson, wasn’t heading toward North Korea anyway…it was going 3, 500 miles in the OTHER FUCKING direction to take part in joint exercises with the Australian navy…or it was going to a DOUCHE owned casino…or it was finding an internet signal somewhere so that everyone on board could buy a pair of Ivanka’s shoes…who really knows these days….the important thing is that the Car Vinson is back on track and heading toward North Korea NOW so that the USA looks like a bunch of brinkmanship world-ending douche bags after all….USA! USA! USA! 

For those of you with Thirty Five dollars burning a hole in your pocket and not a homeless veteran in sight, Dubya’s book of paintings Portraits of Courage: A Commander in Chief’s Tribute to America’sWarriors is out, thus proving beyond a reasonable doubt that war does truly foster art. Sadly the books says nothing about how Dubya and Dick Cheney, with their bullshit war in Iraq, are primarily responsible today for everything from ISIS to DOUCHE to Brexit to overt nationalism worldwide, to Marie Le Pen, and quite possibly the very end of the European Union. This book seems like quite the keepsake for the end of global liberalism….on the flip side I hear President Obama is composing a book of Odes to all of the Drone bombings….stay tuned.

So on Tuesday Jon Ossoff was NOT able to turn his wild ride in Georgia into one big unicorn frappuccinco gallop into the House seat vacated by Tom Price, who is currently working to fuck up the U.S. health care system even more than it already is. Yes, that’s right liberal friends…Mr. Ossoff has to face Karen Handel in a runoff election later this year. In all honesty I didn’t expect the guy to win and I don’t expect him to win the run-off either…but I’m a noted secessionist…I wrote Georgia off YEARS ago.

Returning to his pseudo-populist brand of bullshit DOUCHE signed an order that would reform the visa program for foreign technical workers in favor of companies hiring American ones. Yes, DOUCHE wants to make reforms to the H-1B program that basically hires foreign tech workers to do the jobs in the tech, medical, and scientific fields that Americans are generally too stupid to do. But that’s okay, folks….Betsy DeVos will be in town next week handing out school vouchers so that those jobs will all be filled…in twenty five years or so.
USA! USA! USA!....sorry...it's just so CATCHY I can't WAIT for the 4th of July!


How do you stop a sexual predator? Advertising dollars, folks…advertising dollars. Bill O’Reilly the popular wingnut and mainstay of Fox Reich News is out as allegations of sexual harassment continue to pile up. A total of 5 women came out with charges against O’Reilly but Fox and the Murdoch’s continued to back that dirty old man…until over 50 advertisers pulled out of his still highly rated 8 o’clock slotted fake news of a show, The O'Reilly Factor. It wasn’t that Bill O’Reilly was a sexual predator. It wasn’t that 5 women had to endure treatment such as good ol’ Bill calling them up and harassing them while he jacked off….it’s because Mercedes-Benz and Hyundai took their money elsewhere….if only the American people were paid off by advertising dollars then maybe we wouldn’t have ended up with DOUCHE as our 45th president. USA! USA! USA! of course the
sexual predator fucktward wins no matter WHAT

...I'm sure there's an advisory job waiting for him at the White House


On Thursday evening in Paris on the Champs-Elysees, officer XavierJugele was shot and killed, and two other officers were wounded just days before an election that could quite possible foresee France becoming a publically nationalistic shit-hole like the United States, and foretell the end of the European Union. ISIS has already claimed responsibility. On the United States front the head of our very OWN domestic terrorist organization, DOUCHE, declared that the shooting would have a big effect when French voters go to the polls…..honestly who in the hell knows at this point…that said, it used to be when horrible things like this shooting happened on either the domestic or international front, that you’d want the president of the United States to say something…soothing….not gloat, like this orange-hued, salivating jack-ass does

Are we any closer to a fucking indictment yet?

Well folks…it’s been another long ass week being a citizen of the decreasing free world. I’m going to be off the radar for the next couple of weeks…and when I go deep I got Luddite deep. Jason Baldinger will be handling the weekly wrap-up for weeks FOURTEEN and FIFTEEN and he will be our featured poet for the dark day of day ONE HUNDRED and also day ONE HUNDRED and ONE (they’re all dark days under DOUCHE though). While I have maintained that this is NOT a poetry journal of any type, I do genuinely like promoting the writing of other artists. So because of this for the next two weeks WineDrunk is going to be primarily the work of myself and my wife, the poet Ally Malinenko. I figured since I’m not around to share the blog posts on Facebook and Twitter and elsewhere then it wouldn’t be fair to use the work of writers who have taken the time to craft something and not have it promoted….we’ll get back to that come Sunday May 6th.

That said…stick around today because we have the poet Jason Irwin at 12pm.
and remember to SUBMIT2RESIST at winedrunksidewalk@gmail.com
 


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