her favorite song
i stopped at the grocery store
after working the ass-end of a long shift
answering more questions
than i’d ever asked in my life
my goals were clear
home and whisky
my needs were simple
bread and beer
but in the checkout line
she’s not even paying any attention
she’s not ringing up my shit
she’s standing their swaying
head bobbing, her eyes closed
the top lip biting the lower pierced one
grooving to some top-40 hybrid of rock-rap
that has to be at least a decade older than her
this is my favorite song, she tells me
i don’t know it, i say
and start pushing my groceries closer to her
you don’t? it’s a
classic
i miss a lot of things, i tell her
wondering what she’d do if i opened a beer right now
considering it’s like we’re in a club anyway
i think i’m going to cry, she says, still swaying
please don’t, i say
i hate it when women cry
but this song means so much to me
could you cry after you’ve rung up my beer?
she rolls her eyes and laughs
starts singing the terrible song to me
while ringing up my items
it’s not cute the way she breathlessly warbles the lyrics
it’s embarrassing and sad for the both of us
and i want to beg for an ending
or go and find that cashier who just tosses my stuff
in the plastic bag while talking on her cell phone
i find her inhumanity much warmer than
this little cashier serenading me
as close and intimate as i’ve been with someone
this whole miserable day
and that says more about me
and the state of humanity
than any song
in any grocery store
could ever hope to articulate.
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