placebo
my wife says
that seltzer water tastes like the ocean
and i laugh
imagine trying to drink the atlantic ocean
instead of drinking
two seltzer waters to replace
two after work whiskeys
i’ve drank the ocean before by accident
it’s not all it’s cracked up to be
but these seltzer waters seem to be doing the trick
at least i’m fooling myself
decent enough
if they aren’t
like the spearmint tea that i’ll have after dinner
two steaming cups to replace
whiskeys number three, four, and five
while reading a biography on thomas jefferson
who drank at least three glasses of wine a day
the good stuff, mind you
not the cheap chilean red that i usually keep
nestled by the side of the couch
bought for less than an alexander hamilton
anywhere in brooklyn
president jefferson never touched hard liquor
that is to say
he wasn’t a part-time drunk nor a half-assed poet
he was a philosopher and a statesmen first
and conducted himself accordingly
he never had to sit in his living room on a rainy night
trying to be pleasant after a long day at work
fooling himself on seltzer water instead of whiskey
imagining it
and himself
to be as vast and strong
as mind-blowing
as the green and salty
atlantic ocean.
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